Sophomore year
by Jaguarin
Summary: The begining of the Birds story... Complete
1. Cold night

I always, as many people here had been thinking about the begining of our birds. So I worked on my own version of that begining, and in a Time line.  
  
I took the Unaired Pilot and the 13 chapters as a first guide and I mixed it with Babs Biography at comics. Was a little complicate because the comic changed that Bio many times, and the clock time sometimes is crazy and impossible. If you want add a comment or sugestion is welcome.  
  
Thanks to NightStalker that did all the heavy editing work and yhay gave me very good ideas. To Shadow Walker, Kadence and Yank for her suggestions.  
  
I hope you like this first attemp. The story begins after Selina was murder...  
  
===========================  
  
SOPHOMORE, FIRST YEAR  
  
Helena sat alone in an office crying silently, her pink blouse and her blue pants had spots of blood, her mom's blood, the police had taken her statement a few minutes ago about what had happened that night. She felt like she was living inside a nightmare, a dark nightmare.  
  
A few hours ago she had been laughing with her mother as they shopped, and now, she wasn't there anymore, she wasn't with her, she was lying on a cold metallic stretcher in the Police Station. She couldn't believe it, she couldn't understand why.  
  
It had been a man with a long coat that walked up to her, he stumbled against her mother, or so she had thought, and suddenly she saw her mom fall. She kneeled, trying to help her stand up and that was when she felt warmth on her hand; her mother was bleeding. She could see the sadness on her face before she closed her eyes.  
  
She saw the man with the knife stand up near her; nobody helped her stop him, she screamed asking for help and people just looked at her. She called her mom, but she never answered, she never opened her eyes again; she couldn't tell her goodbye. She died right there, on the cold ground, without knowing what had happened.  
  
A captain stood by the door that had a crystal window, looking at Helena. A young, black woman walked over to him and looked at girl too. She raised a sheet of paper and gave it to him.  
  
"We took her statement; she gave us the description of the man that stabbed her mother. The sketch artist finished, I'll send it to all the police stations."  
  
"Okay detective." the captain read the paper "Did you call her family?"  
  
"She does't have one. she told me her mother was her only family."  
  
"Poor girl, she's only sixteen, we need to take her to the orphanage, or to a DYFS office (Division of Youth and Family Services)."  
  
"We can't do that to her now," the detective sighed, "her heart is broken. I think that we need to wait until after the funeral to talk with her. Bruce Wayne sent his lawyer, he said he will pay the funeral expenses."  
  
"Did he know about the girl?"  
  
"Well, I don't know, and if he does know, he didn't say anything about her." The detective raised her brow. "Do you know about Comm. Gordon's daughter?"  
  
"Yes, she was shot two hours ago." The Captain said.  
  
"I know, it's a terrible night. She and this girl." the detective looked Helena "Revenge against Comm. Gordon?"  
  
"Probably, it was the Joker. What is that?" the Captain asked, pointing at a package that the detective had under her arm.  
  
"I bought to her a change of clothes, I feel so sorry for her. I'll talk with her."  
  
Helena had her gaze fixed in the floor. She was asking to herself what she was going to do. The detective opened the door and entered the small room. She sat in front the young girl. Helena raised her tear stained face and looked at her.  
  
"Where is my mom?" she asked.  
  
The detective swallowed. "She is. well, the doctors are preparing the post mortem."  
  
"I see."  
  
"A friend of hers is going to pay all the expenses and gave orders to prepare the funeral, don't worry about anything, okay?"  
  
"Who's that friend?" Helena looked her "she doesn't have many friends."  
  
"Bruce Wayne, did you know him?" the detective asked.  
  
"No. Mom told me sometimes was a far friend; I heard his name sometimes in the news. Why is he paying?"  
  
"I don't know Helena, he just sent his lawyer and asked him take care of it. Do you want us to take her to a special place?"  
  
"She loved the Memorial Gotham Gardens, in the hills."  
  
"Okay. I'll prepare everything, do you want something. special for her?"  
  
Helena shook her head.  
  
"I brought some clean clothes for you," the detective gave her the package "There is a bathroom where you can take a bath if you wish."  
  
"Monique, I want to see her."  
  
"You will, but not now, change your clothes and rest a while, you can use my couch."  
  
"I don't think I can sleep," Helena said in quiet voice "Could you, knowing that your mom was murdered and that you are all alone in the police station?"  
  
The detective was shocked with the question and brushed her hair. "You're right. take a bath and change your clothes and I'll take you to see your mother, okay?"  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara's eyes fluttered open, she felt stunned, she had an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. The stretcher was raced through the hospital corridors. She could see the lights on the hospital ceiling speeding past in front of her eyes while some paramedics were around her and ran towards the Surgery room.  
  
She could see flashes Joker's evil face laughing while he shot her, she could feel the blood soaking her clothes. She was wearing clothes? She couldn't remember. Over her a man held a bag with serum, they screamed and shouted, but she couldn't understand what were they saying. All turned black again and she slipped back into unconsciousness.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena sat at the end of an exquisite room full of white flowers at her mother's funeral service in the Memorial Gotham Gardens. When she was arriving, she saw, from a distance, a tall, elegant man exiting the room. Monique had told her that he was Bruce Wayne, her mother's friend, that he had asked be with her alone a few minutes.  
  
Many strange people were there, they walked and talked, sometimes they looked at her and she felt uncomfortable. Monique had told her that they were Wayne's and her mother's friends, but she didn't recognize anyone. She expected to see Barbara but she never arrived. She was still in shock and was tired, her eyes were red and had black rings under them. She couldn't think about anything, she just wanted wake up out of that bad dream. She missed Sandy, her best friend, but she had left the city without a word a few months ago.  
  
Gibson was with her, he had heard the news and had spent many hours looking for his friend before he found her; he had called some of Helena's friends in high school and some of them were there. But she didn't seem to notice anyone, she was lost in her grief, sunk in a couch with him next to her.  
  
Helena wasn't in a good mood. She felt trap inside a nightmare, she was overcome by a multitude of emotions inside of her, she wanted to be alone with her mom, she wanted to run away, she wanted go to her home; she wanted kill her mother's assassin. That was an idea that she would keep in mind for a long time: search for and kill the bastard that had stolen her life.  
  
* * *  
  
After the funeral, Monique took Helena to her home, it was a cloudy day. She needed to talk with her and needed a quiet place, the best one was her own home. It was going to be difficult to tell her that she couldn't stay in her home any longer, that now the state custody of her. She looked at her, Helena had her forehead against the window of the car, the brunette still couldn't believe that her mother was gone.  
  
They arrived at the house; Helena stood up in front of the Porsche longing to see her mother opening the door to welcome her back. Monique touched her shoulder.  
  
"Something wrong Helena?"  
  
"No."  
  
They walked in, Helena looked around, she could still smell her there, yet she wasn't there, not anymore. Monique took her to the living room and sat her on the couch. Helena just wanted her to leave the house and leave her alone. Monique sat in front of her.  
  
"Helena, I need to talk with you, I know that you don't feel good right now, that all this is hard for you, but, look, you are only sixteen, you don't have family or friends" Helena glared at the woman as she rested her back ion the couch and crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive position. Monique felt her anger, she tried to explain in the best way. "Helena you can't live alone."  
  
"Why not?" Helena interrupted her.  
  
"You are under age.."  
  
"That isn't true."  
  
"You are too young."  
  
"I have a home, my mom left me money in the bank." Helena stood up.  
  
"And you can't touch it, you are under age." Monique said.  
  
"Why not?" Helena shouted "It's my mother's money, it's my money!"  
  
"You are under age, Helena," Monique stood up too, trying to explain "you can't take the money, the bank won't let you; you can't live alone. You can't live here anymore. Now the state is your guardian, I need to take you to the Division of Youth and Family Services. I'm sorry, but it's the law."  
  
"Fuck the law! It doesn't care about me!" Helena yelled. "Where was the law when that son of bitch killed my mother?"  
  
"Watch your mouth, Helena!"  
  
"Where is the killer? He stole my mother's life! He stole my life! And now, while he is free, I'm the one who must go live in a prison! I'm not going anywhere! This is my home!!"  
  
Monique understood the girl's anger. "I know, but I need to take you, I brought you here to talk with you, to close your house and to let you prepare a suitcase, okay? Don't make this worse."  
  
"Just try to take me out of here." Helena clenched her jaw and faced her.  
  
"I will do it," Monique faced her too. "You know that I could call the DYFS and they would send me the entire police department, if it's necessary, to take you there, like it or not. I'm trying to do this the easy way, understand? So help me and help yourself, go to your room, prepare your clothes and let's go!!"  
  
Helena pressed her lips, she kicked the center table and began to pace around the room. Monique was right, she was under age and the police never would let her live alone.  
  
"It's not fair.." she mumbled.  
  
"I'm sorry, Helena."  
  
"I lost everything in just one second," she stood in front of the window and looked at the garden crying "24 hours ago I had my mom, I had a home and now."  
  
Monique sat in the coach in silence. She knew it was a difficult moment for Helena. She kept silent a few seconds and checked her watch.  
  
"Helena, it's six o'clock, I need take you to the DYFS, but I can do it tomorrow morning. We can stay here tonight, if you want and give you time to pack and say goodbye, but we must go tomorrow, early." Helena sighed and kept silent. "What do you say?"  
  
The girl nodded "Thanks." she whispered "Can I be alone.?"  
  
"Of course, I'll be here." Monique gave her a light smile.  
  
Helena walked to her mother's room; she stood in the doorway and looked in; it was empty, empty of her; all her things where were she left them before they left last night. The last blouse that she changed out of was over the bedside table, where she had thrown it.  
  
Helena closed the door and opened the closet. She touched her clothes, clothes that she wore, trying to feel her again, just once. She caressed one of the blouses with her cheek, she smelled her on each one. Helena lay on her mattress smelling her in the pillows, trying to absorb all of her scent before it disappeared, sobbing, missing her.  
  
Monique fell asleep on the couch, she woke up the next morning, drowsy. She looked at her watch, it was late, almost eight o'clock in the morning. She went to look for the kid; she knocked on the door, Helena didn't respond, she tried to open it but it was locked.  
  
"Helena." she called her, "We need to go." Monique felt that something was wrong and began to knock on the door harder. "Helena!" she took a credit card and unlocked it. She opened it, the room was empty and the window opened. "Shit!" she shouted running to the phone; she dialed some numbers. "Jonathan, the girl ran away."  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara was wearing a hospital gown, resting in a medical bed. She was connected to an IV and to a heart monitor, the beep of the machine was the only sound in the room. She was still under the effects of the anesthesia; it had been a hard surgery of almost 6 hours. The doctors had been fighting, trying to save her life, and they did it with a great effort, but they couldn't heal her damaged spine hurt by the bullet.  
  
Commissioner Gordon sat in front of a round table, he grabbed his head with his hands. He felt guilty, he was sure that the Joker's attack on his daughter had been revenge against him. The neighbours had found her lying on the floor, bleeding.  
  
Barbara moved lightly making a soft noise with the blankets that caught his attention. He raised his head and looked at her. She opened her eyes to find herself looking upwards into dimly lit lights, all was blurred and she felt drowsy; she began to focus; that wasn't her room, it was a hospital.  
  
"Barbara." he said in low voice walking next to her.  
  
"Dad?" Barbara mumbled and turned her face to see him.  
  
Gordon smiled and took her hand "Hi honey."  
  
"It was the Joker." she said sleepily remembering the image of him shooting her.  
  
"We know, we trapped him after he went to your apartment. He's now in a security cell."  
  
"I don't understand, Batman had trapped him a few hours before." she closed her eyes.  
  
"Don't talk my dear." he leaned over her.  
  
"I never. expected see him in front of my door, he surprised me."  
  
"He escaped, I don't understand how he found you. Don't talk, rest..."  
  
Barbara was trying to order her ideas "I was taking a bath and I heard on the TV that somebody had killed Selina Kyle. Selina" suddenly she realized what had happened. "Where is Helena?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Where is Helena? Did you know? Where is Selina's daughter?"  
  
"I don't know, I've been with you since the accident. " Gordon looked her with concern "You've been unconscious for days. You were seriously injured, you were unconscious almost four days, you almost died. It's a miracle that you are alive now!"  
  
"Four days? Helena. poor girl, I need to find her." The redhead felt a great anguish inside her. She knew that Helena was under age and she knew the girl would be in a federal custody department, a terrible experience for any kid; Helena was alone.  
  
"Barbara, right now the most important thing is you." Gordon squeezed her hand. "The Joker shot you."  
  
"I know but. I need to find her, she is alone, Selina doesn't have family and." Barbara felt dazed, maybe it was the medications ".And Helena is just a child."  
  
"Babs, I know that you and Selina were good friends, I never understood how, she was a criminal." Gordon sighed thinking how he would tell her that she had been crippled by the Joker.  
  
"She. wasn't a thief anymore,.you know that dad. she quit that life because of her daughter, I told you."  
  
"At this moment I'm only thinking of you."  
  
"But I can't. Father, help me to find her."  
  
"Easy, Barbara, please listen to me." He took her hand with both his hands, it was a difficult moment for him.  
  
"Dad, I." she was impatient.  
  
"Listen to me, the Joker's bullet went through your spine.. Your spine is damaged."  
  
Barbara felt a chill run down her back and she locked her eyes on him "What?"  
  
"You can't walk." A tear fell from his eye.  
  
"But." she tried to moved her legs and realized that she couldn't feel them.  
  
"The doctors tried everything but it was impossible, your spine was seriously damaged and they couldn't do anything." Gordon started to cry "It's my fault, it was revenge against me."  
  
"Dad, don't worry, I can see a specialist and." Barbara tried to convince herself that it was just another accident.  
  
"Barbara, your spine is seriously damaged, you will never be able to walk again."  
  
"No." She touched her legs and tried to move them unsuccessfully. "It can't be."  
  
"They tried everything, they couldn't help you."  
  
"It can't be."  
  
"Babs."  
  
"It can't be!" she shouted, tears were running down her cheeks "Do you hear me? It can't be!"  
  
"Barbara..." he hugged her, trying to comfort her. "Please, I'm here with you, I'm sorry."  
  
She hugged him back crying, she tried to understand what had been happening and what was happening to her; she was shocked, it had to be a mistake, it had to be. She was a hero, she was Batgirl, all this was impossible.  
  
* * * 


	2. Confusion

Helena felt like she had lost everything; that assassin had killed not only her mother, but he had killed her life, her illusions. Hours after she escaped of Monique's custody, she was seated in the park with a small backpack, distracted as she thought about what to do, where to go, when the police caught her; she didn't offer much resistance; she was so stunned.  
  
They had taken her to the DYFS; the first days she had been so stunned that she was almost a zombie, without talk or eat, closed in her 'cell' as she called her room in the DYFS, a room that she shared with four other girls, while they searched for a Foster Home for her. The other girls were around her age, 13, 15, 17, but were more brave than her and she wasn't in the mood to protest or say something.  
  
In the first moments she felt hopeless. The nightmares that would follow her over the next years were starting to appear in her dreams; she was mocked by the girls when they saw her crying or waking up at night, scared. She began to hide her feelings to avoid being mad fun of.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara was in the darkness of her room, the lights off, awake and lost in her inner thoughts and sadness. She was trapped in a wheel chair, nothing would ever be the same. She felt a chill on her back, the window was open, but she didn't care. Nothing mattered to her now.  
  
"What do you want?" she asked "To try to convince me again that everything is fine?"  
  
"No, I came here to see you and." The impressive silhouette of Batman stood next to the window. "You were a great partner."  
  
"I was, now I'm. nothing."  
  
"Barbara, I agreed to be your mentor because you are an extraordinary woman, you possess an incredible photographic memory, I don't have it!, a brown belt in judo, a keen analytical researcher's mind, and a great background in gymnastics, dance, and other athletics."  
  
"That was Batgirl, Batgirl is dead now. as am I." Barbara felt tears ruining down her face.  
  
"I'm sorry." Bruce took off his mask and kneeled in front of her.  
  
"Don't be sorry for me, I have enough of that myself."  
  
"I'm alive. unfortunately; I lost everything I have. I lost you, I lost Selina. I came here to say goodbye. I've hurt the people that I most love. I'm sorry for that. I left instructions, everything you need, you will have. Alfred is at your disposal. You are alive, you still have a future. I know that you only go out to your physical and emotional therapy sessions, you are hiding. Don't do that."  
  
"You can't ask me to feel alive, I can't" she sobbed "I can't."  
  
Bruce hugged her, they cried in silence. Bruce really loved her, and he was depressed, he also thought this was unfair for her, she was a great woman. Barbara felt comfort in her mentor's arms, she missed her lost life. They cried until Barbara fell asleep. He stood up and kissed her forehead, he covered his face with his mask and walked toward the window. He turned to see her for last time.  
  
"I love you Barbara, I'm sorry." Batman jumped through the window and disappeared in the night.  
  
* * *  
  
One day she was looking out the window and heard a noise behind her, one of the girls had taken one her blouses from her drawer. She didn't like that.  
  
"Hey, leave that there."  
  
"Later." the girl said.  
  
"I said leave that there!" Helena stood up.  
  
The girl didn't listen and went to the door. Helena jumped and landed in front of her, surprising the girl; she grabbed her by the neck and pushed her against the wall with all of her strength.  
  
"I said leave that there!" Helena growled at her with her feral eyes; the girl was petrified and screamed. "Never, listen to me. never touch my things again! Got it?"  
  
"Let me go, freak!!!" the girl cried.  
  
Helena was blinded for the rage and pressed her neck. "I'm not a freak!"  
  
"Freak, freak freak!!!!" the girl shouted, afraid. "You are a freak!! Save me from the freak!!"  
  
Helena threw her against the bed and fell over her. They began to fight. The noise attracted the attention of the DYFS personnel and they ran into the room.  
  
"Helena!" the principal manager shouted but the brunette didn't listen to anyone. She just wanted to shut up the annoying kid. It took the help of three people to get her off of the girl. The personnel were surprised by her strength. She was punished and locked in a room alone. With each passing day, Helena felt more and more mad and rebellious against the system that she considered unfair.  
  
All the other girls after that gave her the nickname of "freaky", and the girl wanted her revenge. Helena was at the DYFS, but she had her normal classes at the High School. She became unfriendly and everyday she talked less. Her sadness began to turn to anger.  
  
* * *  
  
In the dark room, with the lights off, Barbara was resting on her side, her mind and her thoughts were lost, she hated life, she was fighting to help others; her life had been in danger many times to save people, this was unfair. Her father had try to help her, but she refused to see or talk with anyone. She felt so depressed, so useless.  
  
Gordon had given all his effort to try to help her to keep going, but Barbara was closed in her own suffering; she didn't listen; she had closed herself off to everything and everybody.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena was working alone on her homework in a table in the living room of the house where she lived. One of the girls sat in front of her with her notebooks and began to do her homework. Helena didn't care who it was and continued working. After a few minutes she finished and put her things inside her school bag. She raised her head and at that moment her look fixed on the girl; anger grew inside her. She just stepped up on the table and took the girl by the neck. The girl screamed. She took her necklace and pulling it, breaking the lock.  
  
"I warned you! Never touch my things and especially not my mother's things!!" Helena shouted and pushed her. The girl fell to the floor. Helena took the necklace and put it in her pocket. She something hit her in the back; three girls were over her but she beat them and they ran crying in under one minute.  
  
She picked her school bag up off the floor and walked to her room ,furiously. Suddenly she felt some one take her arm. She turned and without thinking hit the person that had greabbed her. She later discovered was the Principal of the Center. A few minutes later she was in his office with the other girls.  
  
"So Helena?"  
  
"She took my mother's necklace."  
  
"The girls told me that is Susane's." the Principal was seated behind his desk with the necklace between his hands, with a big bruise under his eye.  
  
"Susane took it from my suitcase!" Helena shouted.  
  
"No," Susane said crying "It is mine, my friends are my witnesses, I always had it." The other girls nodded.  
  
"That is not true!" the counselor behind her pulled her back into the chair.  
  
"I don't want you to give me anymore trouble," the Principal said extending his hand to give the necklace to Susane who smirked at her.  
  
Helena's eyes changed and she glared at her. "I'm warning you, don't touch it!" she said in a firm voice. Susane pulled her hand back, scared.  
  
"It's yours Susane, take it." The Principal said. The girls pushed her to take it. "I'll protect you, don't worry about her."  
  
Susane hesitated and as soon as she took the necklace, Helena jumped over her like a rabid animal and snatched it. The counselor tried to stop her but it was impossible. A big brawl started in the director's office.  
  
She was punished for three days locked in a room, but she recovered the necklace. In certain way she felt a relief being alone; almost a month had passed after that terrible night, and the solitude gave her comfort.  
  
Everybody thought she was a freak, and she really was one. Her mother and her had talked a lot about her meta-abilities, that she needed to keep them secret. Being a meta was dangerous, her mother was one and maybe because of that she had been murdered, and maybe she would be murdered too. And that didn't matter to her, she was angry, angry at the law, their custodies, at everything and everybody.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara sat in the wheel chair in the darkness of her room. She wheeled to the window and opened the window curtain and looked outside thinking about her life. She was tired of being afraid and feeling useless. She had been a hero for so long, she loved the sensation of freedom that she got from patrolling at nights.  
  
She opened the window and closed her eyes, she smelled the fresh air, much time had passed since she had breathed the unmistakable street smell. She smiled remembering her days as Batgirl. Suddenly she felt hope for her future.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena discovered how easily she could make the couselors and Principal angry. She began to disobey and not follow rules. She enjoyed the anger making everyone angry when she started trouble, it was her little revenge. She turned uncontrollable and was moved to the Detention Center, after a few days.  
  
"Where are we going?" Helena asked looking trough the car's window to the policeman that drove in the front seat.  
  
The police didn't answer her and she just put her nose against the window. Sure she was being moved to another DYFS center; she smiled to herself, after the last beating that she had given to those girls; the Principal sure didn't want to see her near the girls.  
  
Suddenly she froze, she saw the entrance of the Youth Detention Center. "Hey stop!" she shouted hitting the glass that separated her from the driver. "Stop! Why did you bring me here? I'm not a criminal! Hey!" She began to try to open the door and kicked it unsuccessfully. She felt like a caged cat. The patrol car entered the building. As soon as the policeman opened the door she tried to run away but other policemen at the entrance helped their partner.  
  
"Leave me alone!" she yelled.  
  
"Easy girl!" one of the policemen shouted. She hit one of them and kicked the other one, she tried to run but a policeman grabbed her ankle and she fell to the floor. She was overwhelmed and they had to cuff her hands to manage her.  
  
Helena was confined to a security room; she was extremely frustrated and angry; she had been punished just for being a 16 year old orphan. Her mother never would let anyone touch her, no one cared about her. She was alone and panicky, and she didn't have anything to loose. The nightmares continued following her, like a curse.  
  
She was pissed, and began to look for ways to escape the place kept her trapped like an animal, and she did it.  
  
* * * Barbara had served one term as a Representative in Congress and then returned to Gotham City to spend an increasing amount of time as her alternate identity, tackling cases of increasing difficulty and foes of greater menace. Cormorant, an enemy, in the process of kidnapping a little girl, had shot and seemingly killed her as Batgirl, but she overcame even that adversity to nail her prey. That incident had heightened her feelings of inadequacy and lack of effectiveness. But she never let it happen again, and now she was crippled. She couldn't change that, it was her reality. And she had just two choices, keep going or stay in the darkness feeling pity for herself. And it wasn't her style to be defeated, she took conscience again of her strong nature and her ideals. * * *  
  
Helena walked outside breathing her freedom; she had escape of her "jail". She couldn't go to Gibson or any of her friends, that was the first place the police would look for her.  
  
She felt terrible, she was a fugitive, and she wasn't guilty of anything, she was innocent, she was a victim, and the police chased her like a criminal. She wondered if they searched for her mother's assassin as vehemently as they had been looking for her. She didn't have a place to sleep, to rest; she had nowhere to go.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara had talked with Bruce about her idea to go back to a normal life before he disappeared, he had sent her to train with the martial arts master, Richard Dragon in escrima, the Phillipine art of stick fighting. She had starting to learn the discipline and that had helped her to hone her body and give her confidence anew.  
  
Bruce had just left everything. But she couldn't judge him, she realized that in some ways he was doing the same that she had been doing: run away from reality. But she couldn't continue hiding herself, she needed to face her own fears.  
  
She started searching for Helena, as well, she had forgotten her in the middle of her own pain.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena had broken her own record, three days outside the Detention Center without being caught. Her stomach rumbled, the last time she had eaten was almost 24 hours ago. She looked at the fruit in the market and then glanced around, no one was watching her. She took a bunch of bananas and ran down the streets. She entered an alley and jumped to the rooftop of a high building. Up there, she hid behind a water tank and began to eat the bananas. It didn't matter how many times Helena escaped; the police always caught her again. And this time was no exception. 


	3. Difficult times

Barbara began to spend many hours in front of the computer, she began to discover the utility of it. And helped to solved one of the GCPD cases that was driving her father nuts. Someone was using computers to steal money, and she helped without anyone realizing it was her. After that, she understood that she couldn't let her life go down because of her condition. Her computer began to be her library.  
  
Barbara's base of operations was in the high-tech Gotham City Clock Tower in the Wayne Corp building. Bruce had given her that floor; he knew that by giving her all the facilities she would continue her great job as a crime fighter and Alfred helped her with the details.  
  
She had even changed her name to Oracle. And so far she had been trying to break into the security of the DYFS computer system and search for Helena; after Selina's murder she was sure the police took her there, and from there to an orphanage that could be in any part of the country. She had asked for Helena at DYFS, but she wasn't a family member and the process to obtain information on the girl would be long; she needed to send letters explaining why she wanted know about the kid, and she didn't have the time either to be patient and to wait so much time to find out about her.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena had escaped again a week later. She jumped on the buildings, hiding until a storm covered the city. She had taken shelter out of the rain inside a grocery store and she opened a bag of cookies, the owner saw her and she ran to the exit taking another bag. It was bad luck that she crashed into a security guard at the exit of the store.  
  
A few minutes later, she was in the police station where she made a big scene and hours later she was again in the Youth Detention Center. Maybe she wasn't outside much time, but at least she would make the guards and counselors mad for several hours, and that was enough for her.  
  
She lied in the bed looking the ceiling, she was soaking wet, but the Director was furious with her and sent her to be punished in solitary confinement. No bed was as soft as her own in her home. She took the light blanket and covered herself. The night was so cold and it didn't gave her enough warm but it was the only thing that she had to cover her self.  
  
She saw herself sitting in the middle of a dark alley. She saw her mother lying bleeding in the distance and that man was kneeling in front of her. He raised his face and walked toward her, she stepped back afraid; she felt sunk into the road surface; she was terrified as he smiled at her. He stopped and many people began to appear behind him in the darkness pointing her and calling her 'thief' and 'fugitive'. She felt desperation and tried to run but she moved clumsily while she sunk slowly in the pavement.  
  
One of the counselors heard her scream and opened the door, she turned on the light, the girl was crying and sweating. The girl woke up trembling and scared. The couselor checked her forehead, she was very warm.  
  
"You have temperature Helena, why didn't you chang your clothes? You are soaked. I have to take you to the infirmary..."  
  
"The director was mad with me. and sent me here. I'm cold, Kelly" Helena whimpered, shivering.  
  
"I guess, you made him mad with your last escape. First, you need take a warm bath and change your clothes."  
  
"He will punish me again if I go out of here."  
  
"And you are worried about that?" Kelly moved her head "It's the last thing that should matter to you, come on, come with me." She took her hand.  
  
"No, he will punish me." Helena whispered.  
  
"No, he won't." She tried to help her stand up but the girl refused.  
  
"He will punish me..."  
  
"You are delirious, Hel, I'll take the responsibility, okay? You need to change, come on." She forced her to stand and took out her out of the room.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara was sleeping in her bed, she heard a noise and woke. The window was opened, and the curtains moved. She looked around but couldn't see anything, but she felt she wasn't alone. "Bruce?" she asked. She moved to her side and turned on the lamp. A chill ran in her back, in front of her was the Joker pointing her with a gun, he laughed.  
  
"Knock, knock. who's there???" he laughed again "Hello Batgirl, I come to finish my job." He shot the gun and she screamed.  
  
Barbara woke up sweating and scared, she breathed faster; the room was in darkness; she sat and turned on the light. She looked around but the room was empty, her hair was messy and she brushed it with her hand.  
  
Her hand shook when she tried to take a glass of water that was by her night table but she throw the glass on the floor, she was too nervous and started to cry. That nightmare had followed her since that terrible night.  
  
She had tried to endure it but the fear inside her was bigger than her determination. One of her fears was to go back to be a crime fighter was some day be face to face with  
  
* * *  
  
"Why did you take her out of her solitary confinement? She was being punished!" the Director shouted at the officer. They were in his office discussing the matter.  
  
"She was sick, you send her there soaked, it was a cold night and she had temperature. We would have problems if somebody knew that!" The custody officer was really angry.  
  
"She is a menace, she is out of control. Last week she hit two guards, three weeks ago she started a fight in the dining room some girls were injured. Now she escaped for almost four days and was caught stealing! And this isn't the first time that she escaped from here."  
  
"I think that we are doing something wrong, her mother was murdered three months ago."  
  
"And she turned into a menace to society!" the Director paced in his office.  
  
"Maybe because we don't know how to manage her." The officer said  
  
"I know how, tomorrow morning you will take her back to the cell for a week! She needs understand who is in charge here."  
  
"That isn't the way."  
  
"I'm not asking you, I'm giving you a order, and the discussion is over. Good afternoon miss Kelly."  
  
The officer hung her head and walked outside. Kelly walked to the infirmary to see Helena. The girl was resting on a stretcher looking outside through the windows with bars. Sadness was always on the girl's face. She stood next to her, and Helena looked up at her.  
  
"I have to go back to my cell?" she asked in low voice.  
  
"No, not yet. How do you feel?" Kelly touched her forehead.  
  
"Much better, thanks."  
  
"You still are warm." Kelly sat next to her "Why did you do it, Helena?"  
  
"Why did I do what?"  
  
"Why are you so rebellious?"  
  
"I dunno why I am here. I'm not a criminal, and you treat me as one. It's unfair. I just want go back home."  
  
"You are under age, you have to live under state custody and you caused a lot of problems there." Helena kept silence "You have nothing to say?" Kelly insisted.  
  
"Why? Anyway I'm under age and my words don't matter until I'm 18."  
  
"Helena, this is not a comfortable place, but don't make it worse for yourself."  
  
"Couldn't be any worse." The brunette looked at her. "I've lived in hell since my mom died."  
  
* * *  
  
Alfred watched Barbara moving clumsily in the manual wheelchair but he didn't help her, he knew she was trying to learn to be independant again. When the laboratory in the middle of Clock Tower was finished they celebrated with a glass of white wine in the kitchen.  
  
"This place is really wonderful," he said.  
  
"And functional, I can get access to everything, anytime." Barbara said with enthusiasm.  
  
"And how do you feel now?" he finally asked.  
  
"Very well," Barbara put sugar in her coffee "I got a job as a librarian and a grant from the Wayne Foundation to begin anew." She smiled and looked at her computer "And I'm discovering how marvellous computers are."  
  
"I'm glad for you." Alfred smiled.  
  
Barbara kept silenct before getting to the point. "He really left?" she asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Barbara sighed "I feel so sad from him. His heart is broken. he left without knowing."  
  
"Without knowing..?"  
  
"Alfred.." Barbara bit her lip, she didn't know how start "I need your help."  
  
"My help? Of course miss Barbara, how may I be of assistance?."  
  
".Bruce had a daughter." she fixed her eyes on him waiting for his reaction. Alfred opened his eyes surprised looking at her skeptically.  
  
"He and Selina were very close. Selina was. pregnant. They broke up and she left, a few months late she had a baby, a baby that was born in Paris 16 years ago."  
  
"Are you serious miss Barbara?"  
  
"Bruce didn't know that, Selina hid it from him. The girl didn't know either that he is her father. Her name is Helena. That night I heard the news of Selina's murder on TV and I ran to the phone to try to locate her when I heard someone knocking on the door. I opened it thinking it was Helena, but it was the Joker. He surprised me."  
  
"I'm sorry. If that is true. where is the girl now?"  
  
"I was blocked with my own pain and I forgot her; she is under age, and she is alone, she doesn't have a family. I began to investigate a month ago, took me time to began to install codes and equipment. Don't tell anyone, I hacked into the police files. That was easy, the difficult part was creating the software to do it. Now I know that the police took her and kept her at the DYFS and later she was moved to the Youth Detention Center ."  
  
"To the Youth Detention Center?"  
  
"Yeah, it seems that she has been in a lot of trouble: rebelling, violent. She caused some trouble and was sent there, I have access to her files. She's there now."  
  
Alfred smiled "You are really a genius."  
  
"No, not really. " she said "I'm feeling guilty, guilty because I thought of her many times and I lost that time feeling ashamed of myself. But three days ago I felt most guilty when a lawyer came to see me. Selina gave him instructions to give me custody of her." She did a pause "She once asked me if something happened to her, if I would take care of Helena and I said yes, but I never imagined that she left instructions for that. She made me her guadian and I failed her."  
  
"It wasn't your fault, you still have time to recover the girl." Alfred pointed out.  
  
"But I left her alone in her worst moments." Barbara said with sadness.  
  
"You weren't in a condition to help her, it was not your fault. What I can do for you miss Barbara?" Alfred asked curiously.  
  
"She escaped seven times in three months; she's been into the police station another three times for disturbing the peace. She once knocked out three policemen."  
  
Alfred raised his eyebrow in surprise "A sixteen year-old girl? She really is Selina's daughter. But how she could she knock out three policemen? She is just a kid."  
  
".Selina told me she is half-meta." Barbara sighed. "She explained to me that she had the abilities of a cat: she can jump high distances, run and jump high distances and is very strong."  
  
"She will be dangerous indeed."  
  
"Helena is a warm girl and very smart. She loved Selina, I saw that. Now I can imagine that she is disoriented, she lost everything in one night, Alfred; I understand her, I know her she is so sweet, but she surely feels frustrated and she is using her fury to attack everybody. I need to help her. Nobody knows that she is half-meta. The lawyer thinks that I don't have the capability to take care of her because I can't walk."  
  
"Are you going to talk with master Bruce?"  
  
"No, I need to first rescue her, it would be very hard for her and for him to know this now. I need to first prepare her, but I need custody. The lawyer asked me to sign some papers refusing custody and I told him that I'm not going to sign."  
  
"It could take time."  
  
"I know and it doesn't matter to me. I can have custody now, because she wrote that in the will, while the fight with the law runs aound trying to reject the document giving me the right to keep her."  
  
"Yes, that is correct. How can I help you?" Alfred smiled.  
  
Barbara felt a little ashamed. "At home. I'm stupid yet moving around in this wheelchair, and I'll need all the help I can get trying to take care of a rebellious and mad teenager. My father thinks that I'm crazy trying to keep custody of a girl that I barely know, and. the daughter of a cat burglar.. I can't tell him that she is Bruce's daughter, he doesn't know that he is Batman. I can't talk about it with anyone."  
  
"Have you talked often with the girl?"  
  
"Well, I talked mostly with Selina, Helena knows me as Barbara Gordon but nothing about my 'hero' life."  
  
"She knew about Selina's life as Catwoman?"  
  
"Yes, Selina told everything to her when she turned fifteen, she understood everything well, but as I told you Selina hid her father's identity from her. What do you say? Would you help me?"  
  
Alfred smiled. "Count me in."  
  
Barbara felt great motivation inside her, she now felt really useful again. She used to work in front of her computer late every night helping with the JLA team with her database or was the second in command of Amanda Waller's Suicide Squad. She had became a largely-unseen quasi-member of that team. It gave her more connections in interesting places than when she was Batgirl. And now, she had found Helena.  
  
* * * 


	4. Denial

A man almost dragged Helena into a small room a few days later, she struggled trying to get free but he was bigger and stronger, he forced her to sit on a couch. The man left her and locked the door. Barbara watched from behind a window that looked like a mirror in the room where Helena was. The daughter of Comm. Gordon was with the Director in a room with a table and two chairs. Helena followed him and kicked the door breaking the wood. Barbara watched her, surprised.  
  
"See?" the director told her "She is a demon. She is going to make us bankrupt if she continues breaking everything. The first day she jumped easily from the third floor to escape. Nothing happened to her. We moved her to a bedroom with bars in the windows."  
  
"She is just a girl." Barbara protested.  
  
"Not a common girl, believe me lady. I would like you to reconsider your decision; I'm not sure that you could manage her, would be a risk for you and mostly because." he closed his mouth before saying something that would hurt Barbara.  
  
"I know, I can't walk, but I know her, I was a friend of her mother."  
  
"Yes, but maybe you knew her before she turned into a criminal."  
  
"You can't call her criminal" Barbara glared to him "She lost her mother, she lost her whole world and you want her be happy with the world? She felt alone and none of you gave her a little bit of warmth or comfort, you are dealing with her as if she really was a criminal."  
  
"She stole from a store and ran away, we caught her again a week ago."  
  
"Yea, I read that in her files, she was after food; she escaped from here and if I remember she was lost for three days. I can't figure out how a sixteen year old could have all the Police department in trouble."  
  
The Director didn't know what to say and he changed the conversation. "Okay, Miss. Gordon, are you going to talk with her?"  
  
"Okay, bring her here but don't tell her who am I." She answered.  
  
Helena sat on the couch again feeling really pissed and frustrated, it was useless to try to escape, they always caught her; she felt like she was in a prison, caged. The Director entered in the room and sat in front of her. Helena crossed her arms and looked at the floor.  
  
"Good afternoon Helena, you had a bad day?"  
  
"No, but I hate bodyguards. I want go back to the school."  
  
"It isn't my fault, everytime you went alone you ran away."  
  
"What would you do if the 'law' treated you as a criminal and the real one was happy in the street?"  
  
"I'm not going to discuss this with you now. Why do you think I called you here?"  
  
"Maybe to punish me because you know that I escaped last night to go to a party?"  
  
"You did?" The principal asked angrily.  
  
Helena covered her eyes with her hand and thought *I screwed it up again, why don't I just shut my mouth?*  
  
"Helena why don't you help us to make it easy?" He stood up, annoyed. Helena didn't respond she remained in her place "Okay, okay, I know that the lawyer read to you your mother's will two months ago."  
  
"And it matters to you?" Helena said in bad mood.  
  
"She left your future secure."  
  
"So? If that is true, why do you force me to be here? I want go home!"  
  
The director seemed to not listen to her "But there is a part that you don't know, she gave to her lawyer an envelope with instructions. If she died, he needed to prepare everything to give your custody to a friend."  
  
Helena puckered her brow. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Yes, your mother left you in the custody of a friend of hers."  
  
Helena rolled her eyes and sighed, the last thing that she needed: a particular cell guard. This couldn't be happening to her, she lost her mother, she was kicked out of her house, was living in a prison with guards and now this. She felt that life really sucked for her.  
  
"Do you want to meet her? She came here to talk with you." the Director said to her.  
  
"I don't want to talk with anybody" she groaned putting her hands in her pants pockets.  
  
"Sorry, you must do it."  
  
"So why you did you ask me, if I have to do everything you say?"  
  
The Director opened the room of the next room and moved his head pointing her to go in. Helena stood up in a bad mood and walked in. He closed the door behind her.  
  
"Helena." Barbara greeted to her. She was seated behind a table with her hands crossed in front of her.  
  
"Barbara?..." Helena felt a great relief seeing a familiar face after so many moths, the last time that she had seen her was almost a half year ago. She was going to hug her but she stopped; Barbara had forgetten her mother and her; she hadn't been at her funeral. Helena stood up in the middle of the room and looked her with reproach in her face "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to see you." the read head smiled feeling happy to see her.  
  
"You remember me now? Why? I didn't see you at my mother's service, I thought you two were friends. You forgot me the last few months, you forgot my mom...."  
  
"An accident." Barbara smiled lightly.  
  
"Ah, I see, I can imagine it was something very important." She started pacing in front of her.  
  
"I'm sorry Helena."  
  
"Dont' feel sorry about me!"  
  
"I didn't want to say that, I couldn't be with you, I should have been, but I couldn't."  
  
"And do you have a good reason for that?" Helena crossed her arms and glared at her "I 'd like to hear it."  
  
Barbara sighed, nodding and wheeled back. Helena was surprised, she didn't notice the wheelchair until that moment. Barbara turned around the table and faced her. The girl felt ashamed and opened her mouth without knowing what to say.  
  
"Your mother's lawyer couldn't follow her instructions immediately because I was seriously injured." The red head explained "He had to wait until I was recovered."  
  
"What. what-t happened to you?" Helena asked stuttering.  
  
"An accident, the night that your mother was killed. I woke up four days later."  
  
Helena felt stupid and she let herself fall in the chair next to the table, she covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry Barbara."  
  
"It isn't your fault, you didn't know." Barbara said in sweet voice  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Forget it, How are you?"  
  
"How do you think?" Helena sighed "I lost my mother, I can't go back to my home and the police jailed me here."  
  
"It's not a jail it's a Detention Center, you know that you gave them a lot of problems." Barbara brushed the girl's hair out of her eyes.  
  
"Me? I'm just a kid that wanted to go back to her house, and I have the whole New Gothamn Police department following me!! There are a lot of criminals in the streets. This is unfair!"  
  
"But a very special girl" Barbara raised her brow "You know what I'm talking about."  
  
"Yea, they would me see me as a freak."  
  
"You are not a freak, you know that. Do not start with that." Barbara took a deep breath and touched her hand. "Helena, I couldn't be here before because of my accident, I'm sorry for that; when I felt better I began to look for you and a lawyer came to visit me, your mother's lawyer. Your mother made me your guardian if something happened to her."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"That you can leave this place and you can come to live with me."  
  
"I just want to go home," Helena said in low voice "I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me."  
  
"I'm not feeling sorry for you." Barbara explained "I was worried about you, I knew that you were alone."  
  
"I'm okay, I don't need anyone, I just want go back to my home."  
  
Barbara lowered her head and crossed her fingers "You know that you can't go back to your home, but I can take you out of here, I can take you to my home and you will live in a home, my house is your house."  
  
"That isn't my home, that is your home. I hate laws!!" Helena stood up and turned her back "A man killed my mom and is outside, free, enjoying life. He stole my life and I must pay by being here locked up! I'm paying, not him! Why?"  
  
"Helena." Barbara tried to touch her but the girl refused  
  
"I just want go back home."  
  
"Helena, the your mother's lawyer has all your files, he asked me to sign refusing your custody because he is sure that I can't take care of you, just because I can't walk. I refused to sign, now he is brining a lawsuit against me, but legally, according to the will, I'm your guardian, and you can come with me."  
  
Helena looked at her. "And if I refuse are you going to take me to your house with a law order?"  
  
Barbara never expected that answer. "Why are you saying that?"  
  
"Because here the only thing that matter is the law, not what I want."  
  
"Helena, I'm telling you that I want take you away from here, I'm offering you a home, a house a place where you can be."  
  
"But it isn't my home." she lowered her head "The last months I had to do all the things that people that I never meet told me. Everytime I refuse, they jail me and punish me. Now it will be the same."  
  
"What? Helena, I can't leave you here, it's unfair for you!" Barbara explained "This is a Youth Detention Center, do you want to stay here until you're 18?"  
  
Helena rested her back in the wall and looked at her defiantly "It's the same if I go with you or I stay here, this isn't my home and neither is your house. The law stole my right to make decisions; at least this could be my decision."  
  
Barbara wheeled up next to her and saw her feral eyes "You think that by going home everything will be fine and back to normal? You are wrong Helena! Going home isn't the solution to your grief. Your problems will follow you. That solution to your grief lies within you."  
  
Helena put down her head feeling a great confusion inside her.  
  
"Your mom is dead, I'm sorry," Barbara understood her angry "you are mad, you are angry with laws, police, life; I understand you, you are right, all this is unfair."  
  
Helena walked to the door and knocked it "I'm finished, let me out." She said to the guard in the entrance, she didn't want Barbara to see her crying, she didn't want that anyone see her being weak.  
  
Barbara turned her wheelchair towards her. "I'm not going to leave you alone; I'm not going to let you throw your life in the trash. Your mother would be disappointed if she could see your attitude and she would be disappointed in me if she saw that I let you do it."  
  
The door opened and Helena walked out almost in a hurry. Barbara understood that the pain and the anger had blinded the girl; she needed to be patient and, most importantly, get her out of here. A few minutes later the Director entered the room.  
  
"Well," he said with a laugh in his voice "I can see she didn't like the idea."  
  
"I'd appreciate if you prepare the documents that I need to sign to take her to my home." Barbara said in a cold voice to him.  
  
"Miss Gordon she is a potential criminal, it is a risk for you that she."  
  
"I want see her out of here as soon as possible." Barbara interrupted "And that means tomorrow, okay? If you think there will be some problem, tell me now and I will ask Bruce Wayne to call you. As I recall, he gave funds to keep this place running." She gave him her card from Wayne's Foundation. "There is my phone number and on the back my address."  
  
"But."  
  
"This place is killing her, she used to be a very kind girl. You are right, that wasn't the Helena Kyle that I knew; this is a girl that has been hurt, treated as if she had committed a crime and she didn't; it was the man who stole her life! I'm not going to let the Federal system and the laws ruin and destroy her life. Call me when you have everything ready, and I hope that will be first thing in the morning. I don't want her to stay here one day more. Good afternoon" Barbara wheeled outside feeling really angry with that man and what the system had done to the girl.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena jumped on her bed and laid on her stomach for several minutes looking at nothing, she felt angry and mad. Everything was unfair. First her mother's murdered, then she was prohibited from going back to her home just because was 16. Nobody asked her if she wanted be taken to those awful places. Places where she couldn't escape.  
  
It wasn't Barbara, she had used her as just an excuse to release her fury. She loved her but now she was angry against everything and everybody. Nobody listened to her, nobody cared about what she was thinking or feeling. She just had to follow instructions and shut her mouth, she hated that and Barbara had almost done it to her too. She had arrived with the news that now she had custody. Would that be like having a new mother? She didn't want a new mother. She just wanted to go back home.  
  
But on the other hand Barbara was offering her a place to live; she was offering to take her out of that hated placed. She knew her, she trusted her. But the frustated feeling about no one caring about her opinion and how she was treated like a criminal while her mother's murderer was free, caused her so much pain. She didn't know what she wanted. She started to cry. She felt alone, terribly alone in a world that she thought was against her. * * *  
  
"How was she Miss Barbara?" Alfred asked as soon she entered in Clock Tower. He could see the hurt in her face.  
  
"Not so well," Barbara said stopping in front of him. "I understand her, her mother died a few months ago and she is in a Detention Center just because she didn't feel comfortable in the Orphanage. Helena's character has always been strong and I guess that she exploded feeling frustated; she lost her home and her life in just a moment. Instead of trying to help her, they sent her to the Detention Center."  
  
"That is terrible."  
  
Barbara couldn't hide her anger. "Yes, now she feels that she can't trust anyone because no one ever asked her how she feels and no one was there to help her grieve after her mother's murder. Those bastards just put her in those awful places. Now she's like a rabid animal in a cage."  
  
"And what did she tell you when she saw you?"  
  
"She was going to hug me but stopped herself; now she's afraid to show her feelings. Dammit!" Barbara hit her chair with her hand. "That isn't the Helena that I knew. She thought that I was ordering her to come with me because I didn't ask her if she wanted to come, I didn't know what was happening in her head."  
  
"She is not going to come here?"  
  
"I promise you, Alfred, that I'll bring her here like it or not, I can't leave her there. That place is destroying her. I gave instructions to Bruce's lawyer to get her out of that place in less than 24 hours. I'll send a letter to the Director of that Center and I'll call my father too."  
  
"He doesn't agree with you adopting her."  
  
"It's not about that Alfred; it's about the fact that they can't treat all the orphaned kids in this city like that."  
  
* * * 


	5. Opening eyes

Kelly was moving to another YDC and she went to say goodbye to Helena since in some ways, she felt sorry for her. She knew the girl had a visitor earlier so she waited for her near her room. She saw Helena running to her room. She stood up and walked over to the room. She heard the sound of crying and opened the door to the room slowly.  
  
"Hey, what's going on?" she asked softly.  
  
Helena quickly wiped the tears from her face and stood up. "Nothing."  
  
"Oh good. I thought that you were still sick and that maybe you were crying because 'your head hurts'." Kelly knew how proud Helena was, so she sat in the only chair in the small room that also contained a bed and a small closet.  
  
"No. I'm not crying." Helena sat on the edge of the bed hiding her face.  
  
"I see. Someone came to visit you today. Maybe they were family?"  
  
"I don't have any family. it was just Barbara."  
  
"And who is this Barbara?" Kelly asked curiously.  
  
"A friend." Helena mumbled. "Barbara Gordon."  
  
"Barbara Gordon? Isn't she the commissioner's daughter? Why did you run? Didn't you like her visit?"  
  
"It wasn't that. It's just that nobody asked me what I thought. Everybody keeps telling me what I must or must not do."  
  
"And Barbara came here to order you to do something?" Kelly was trying hard to understand.  
  
"No. she told me that I can live with her. That my mother gave her custody of me in her will." Helena felt confused. "I just want to go home, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. or be with me because they have to."  
  
"Wait a minute Helena," Kelly interrupted. "Barbara knew your mother?"  
  
"Yes, and me too, sometimes she came over to the house and played with me or took me to the park when I was little... and she gave me gifts. She is very nice. My mom and I loved her so much."  
  
"Helena, I'm confused. If your mother gave her custody, it's because she really trusted her. If she came here looking for you, it shows Barbara is worried about you and wanted to take you home with her."  
  
"I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me!" Helena shouted.  
  
"Helena. as I see it, Barbara Gordon can't walk." Kelly crossed her arms "so explain to me how a disabled person would feel sorry for a healthy girl like you? Don't be proud, this is not the time!"  
  
Helena raised her eyebrows not knowing how to answer that question.  
  
"I believe that it's you who is feeling sorry for herself; not Barbara." Kelly observed Helena, she was closing herself to everybody in her grief. She was only looking for excuses to keep everyone at arm's length.  
  
"Her place isn't my home, that is her home." The brunette paced around. "She didn't ask me if I wanted go with her. She is just like the others giving me orders."  
  
"She didn't give you an order, she came here to tell you that your mother gave her custody. I would think you would be happy to get out of here! And you just told me that you know Barbara very well and that she loves you. Do you know what I think? I think that you are afraid. Afraid to love and to let others love you." Kelly stood up and faced her.  
  
"That's not true." Helena looked down to avoid Kelly's glare.  
  
"She is giving you a home. I read in the newspapers that she was hurt a few months ago and now she can't walk. She can't walk, Helena" Kelly pointed out. "And here she is offering you a home. She is trying to avoid having you stay in this awful place, so awful that you hate living here. She is thinking of you instead of herself and you tell me that she feels sorry for you?? Sorry but that isn't her. I am the one who feels sorry for you!"  
  
Helena raised her head and looked at her angrily but Kelly continued talking in hard voice: "Yes, because you are a coward and she is not. She is fighting to keep going and you are surrendering by closing the door to your room and crying like a child!"  
  
"I'm not a child!" Helena shouted, her eyes changed and Kelly looked at them. She was scared and stepped back.  
  
"Your eyes." Kelly mumbled taking another step back.  
  
Helena felt ashamed and covered her face and turned her back to her. "I'm sorry..."  
  
Kelly was surprised and didn't know what to think, she stepped back toward the door.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm a freak." Helena sat on the bed crying with her face covered. "I'm sorry. I'm not human."  
  
Kelly swallowed and walked toward her, she was afraid but at the same time, she knew the girl needed care. She sat next to her and observed her sobbing. Kelly removed the girl's her hands from her face; Helena didn't lift her gaze.  
  
"You are human honey, you feel, you love; look at me" Kelly asked in a soft voice, the girl felt ashamed "Please, look at me."  
  
Helena slowly lifted her eyes and looked her straight in the eyes. Kelly observed her thin pupils. "Why..?" she mumbled.  
  
"It always happens when I get mad, angry or scared.sorry, I'm a freak."  
  
"No, you are not a freak, are beautiful Helena. Does Barbara know?"  
  
Helena nodded. Kelly thought this wasn't a good time to ask why it happens to her. It was more important to convince the girl to leave this place. She gently took Helena's chin in her hand.  
  
"Helena, get out of here, please don't stay. This place is destroying you. Don't close the door to your own happiness. If they discover that you are special who knows what they could do to you? You know Barbara, she knows you. What else do you want? You told me this place is hell and now you have the opportunity to escape. Do it, promise me that you will think about it?" Helena nodded, Kelly smiled. "You are scared, and that is not a sin."  
  
"I know Barbara loves me, I wanted to run and hug her, I felt really happy to see her; but something inside stopped me, told me to refuse her, I dunno why."  
  
"We vent our anger on the people that we love. You are doing that with Barbara, don't be fool." Kelly smiled. "Helena I need to go, the Director was angry with me and I'm moving to another Youth Detention Center."  
  
"Because of me?" Helena looked her, Kelly was amazed at how her eyes were changing back to normal.  
  
"No, I dont't agree with his 'metods' and I'm not going to hurt kids. These places are to help kids not to jail them. I'll be okay, but you promise me that you won't be so proud. Go with Barbara, I read many things about her when she was in Congress. Your mother trusted her, she would never have left you in the hands of someone that she didn't believe loved you."  
  
"Thanks Kelly."  
  
Kelly said goodbye and she stopped through the door looking her. "Have faith in your mother's choice." Helena smiled. Kelly left the girl alone in her room, thinking about herself and her feelings.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena sat in the back of a patrol car, she had begun to be accustomed to that. She felt a relief because she was going to live with Barbara. She will be far from the guards and the bars in windows. She knew that she loves order and was a very organized person; her mother had told her that she was very smart and an intellectual; she had never lived with an intellectual, that might be boring, but she will go far and never come back to that awful place.  
  
The patrol car stopped in front of the Wayne Enterprises offices. The social worker opened the door and they walked to the entrance door. He helped her to step out of the car in a rude way.  
  
"Is it necessary that you push me?" Helena said angrily to the social worker that took her to Bruce Wayne's principal office. Helena walked with problems, she carried with both hands a heavy suitcase. The man didn't answer, he opened the building door and entered.  
  
Barbara had been wheeling around the department moving the decoration from a place form another nervous with out do anything all morning. Now she was with Alfred waiting for her was impatient in Bruce's office while she played with her fingers. Alfred smiled looking Barbara; but he couldn't deny that he was curious to meet the daughter of Bruce Wayne.  
  
"Relax, the Director told you that she agreed amicably to come with you." Alfred said.  
  
"I hope she understands that I love her," he said tapping her fingers on her leg. "and that I'm not trying to give her a order, but just helping her get her life back."  
  
"Are you nervous?"  
  
"Me? Of course not."  
  
"I bet you are, you will be a first time mother." Alfred smiled.  
  
"I'm not going to be a mother. I'm just her guardian." Barbara protested glaring to him.  
  
"Yes, you are, you will take care of a girl, give your love, attention, and be responsible for her education, feeding her and dressing her. That is a mother, no?" He raised his brow.  
  
Barbara felt disturbed and turned pale; she never thought of things in that way, she felt a knot in her stomach.  
  
"Are you okay?" Alfred asked looking at her pale face.  
  
"No." she mumbled. "I don't know how to be a mother, what am I going to do with her?"  
  
"Miss Barbara, you are one of the greatest heroes in New Gotham. You have managed the worst criminals, taking care of a teenager surely will be a piece of cake for you."  
  
The secretary called, anouncing that Helena and the social worker had arrived. She gave the instruction to let them in. Barbara looked at Alfred. "She's here, what do I do?"  
  
"Well, you can smile at her or you can faint."  
  
"Okay, I'll follow you" Barbara brushed her hair.  
  
Helena was surprised looking the luxurious office. It was a very big office building, and a strange place to finish an adoption movement.  
  
"WOW!!! So Barbara must have so much money." She exclaimed surprised.  
  
"And you better keep your hands far from it." The social worker whispered in her ear and pushed her to walk in. "This is Bruce Wayne's building. Inside Kyle."  
  
"I'm going, I'm going" She mumbled glaring at him and walking in, she almost stumbled with her own suitcase.  
  
"Good afternoon miss Kyle, welcome. Let me help you." Alfred extended his hand, he looked Helena, she definitely had her mother's face but her father's eyes.  
  
"Are you a butler?" Helena gave him the suitcase.  
  
"Of course miss Helena."  
  
"I told you" she looked the social worker "she has so much money." Barbara a pushed the wheels with her hands to move closer her. "Hi Helena." She greeted her smiling.  
  
Helena looked around, she couldn't deny that it was much better being with her than with another person. "Well, this place doesn't have bars, and I'm sure he." she pointed Alfred ".couldn't run after me if I escape." The social worker pinched her arm, she jumped lightly.  
  
"My work is finished here, miss Gordon" the social worker said "Here is the girl"  
  
"Thanks very much." Barbara took her hand.  
  
"It was a pleasure meet you." The social worker sighed. "I hope she doesn't give you problems." Helena blushed and looked away.  
  
"I'm sure she won't." Barbara smiled at Helena and took her hand. 


	6. New home

Thanks to all for your comments, I'm trying to do my best; is hard because we don't have so much info, it change so much in the comics and we only have 13 episodes of the TV show.  
  
Hugs to all!!  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara had welcomed her in Wayne Enterprises offices to avoid the social worker seeing the Clock Tower. The Tension could be cut with a knife while Alfred, Barbara and Helena were inside the elevator in the way to the upper level of the Wayne Enterprises building, The Clock Tower. Helena felt nervous and was insecure about what would happen living with Barbara; She didn't want to get her hopes up that she would stay with her, maybe Barbara after a few days would regret to accept her living in her home. She was sure that her mother was the only person that would love her and accept her as she was.  
  
Barbara was very nervous, she didn't know what to say. She was restarting her life after the attack of the Joker and now she was taking the responsibility of help Helena to recover her life. Barbara's insides were tied in knots that she was going to fail Helena and fail Selina.  
  
The elevator door opened and Helena was shocked, looking around the Clock Tower with an open mouth. The equipment and computers were amazing. Barbara wheeled inside and looked around, proud of her home. "Like it?" she asked.   
  
"This is marvellous." Helena said looking everywhere. "Why so many computers?"   
  
"Glad you like it. It's a very special place, so I'm going to ask you to be very discreet about it."   
  
Helena walked on the platform. "Looks like a Command Center."   
  
"It's something like that, just don't touch anything."   
  
"What do you manage here? A bank?"   
  
"No." Barbara laughed, "I'll explain it to you later. Alfred prepared us an excellent meal, are you hungry?"  
  
Helena nodded. Nervousness invaded both women. Helena and Barbara sat in silence in the kitchen during dinner. It was difficult for them both to be there, they didn't know what to say to each other. Helena felt out of place, as if she got dropped, it was strange here, it wasn't her home; but she didn't have any other place to go. On the other hand, Barbara was afraid to take care of a girl that she didn't know very well; she didn't know what to do or what to say. Alfred watched them and understood. He served Helena a glass of juice.   
  
"So Miss Helena, it's true that you escaped from the Youth Detention Center many times?"   
  
Helena blushed and lowered her head. Barbara glared at him.   
  
"I'm glad that you did it, they never know how be compassionate with people." Alfred pointed out.   
  
"They were always angry with me." Helena said in low voice.   
  
"With you?" Barbara asked "What did you do?"   
  
"Nothing." Helena continued eating her meat.   
  
"Someone told me that you had them chasing you for almost three days" Alfred said giving her another glass of juice. "That was fantastic!"   
  
"Have you been ever there?" Helena raised her head. "Where?"   
  
"Yes, in England, and I hated it, but I never could escape like you. The food was really bad."   
  
Barbara looked at him, surprised, she wasn't aware that Alfred had been in a Detention Center.   
  
"And the beds are like wooden tables." Helena pointed.   
  
"Yes, and what about the bathrooms? Terrible." Alfred rolled his eyes.   
  
"Yes, really, and the most of the time the water was cold."   
  
"And I'm sure that some girls there gave you problems."   
  
"Yes, they annoyed me all the time, but I beat them up." Helena said proud of herself. Barbara listened to them trying to guess what Alfred was doing. "They never could beat me and I was in solitary confinement every two days. The last time I was there almost a week." "A week?" Barbara raised her brow "That's so long much, you couldn't see anyone?"   
  
"No, that didn't bother me, but it was boring, I could escape jumping of the window. They trapped me three days later and they put me in again; but I was out soon because I was sick and Kelly, a Guard took me to the infirmary. The principal was so mad and fired her from the Center." Helena finished her meal and Alfred gave her a big plate with ice cream.   
  
"Wait a minute, you were sick? What happened?" Barbara asked.   
  
"It was raining when they trapped me and took me to the police station because I took a bag of cookies." Helena put a big spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. "A policeman tried to touch me there and I broke his arm. They took me back to the Detention Center and the principal was so mad that he put me in solitary confinement again and didn't let me change my clothes. It was a freezing night and I got a temperature, Kelly noticed that and took me to the infirmary."   
  
"And she was moved because of that?" Barbara was furious listening to the girl and thinking about how unfair laws could be for a kid.   
  
"Yup." Helena licked the spoon "He hated me because I never obeyed him, and he could never punish me, I always beat his men."   
  
"You beat them? You know how to fight?" Alfred asked. "Miss Barbara is a master of that, maybe she would help you."   
  
Barbara was consumed by her inner thoughts with Alfred's comment.   
  
"You know how to fight, Barbara?" Helena smiled. "That is cool! I don't know how fight, I just hit and kick."   
  
"I'll teach you if you want." Barbara gave her a smile.   
  
"Really? I figured you were a boring person." The kid said to her.   
  
"Me?" Barbara tried to not laugh.   
  
"Yes. Mom told me that you read a lot and worked in a library and in Congress."   
  
"Well, reading and studying don't neccesarily make a person boring."   
  
"And you could teach me to fight?" Helena asked smiling.   
  
"Of course." Barbara put her arms on the table   
  
"Great!!!" the brunette almost jumped out of the chair.   
  
"Tomorrow you need to go to school again, I have everything ready." Barbara cleaned her mouth.   
  
"I don't like that part." Helena scowled.   
  
"You love it, I know!."  
  
"I was joking."  
  
"Helena, I apologize, your room isn't ready yet..." Barbara said ashamed. "I prepared the couch."   
  
"Doesn't matter, any place is better than a cell." Helena smiled lightly.   
  
"This is your home now, keep that in mind." Barbara took her hand. Helena looked at her without knowing what to say. "We can make a deal, you go to school and I'll teach you to defend yourself and fight, and I promise to take you this weekend to your home, I guess you want to go there and pack all your mom's things."   
  
"It's a promise?"   
  
Barbara raised her hand. "Now go take a bath and then get to bed, okay?"   
  
Helena nodded and went to the bathroom thanking her and Alfred. When they heard the door close, Barbara looked at the butler.   
  
"Alfred. Have you ever been in a Detention Center?"   
  
"Of course not." Alfred answered her.   
  
"So, what was that?" Barbara didn't understand. "You told her."   
  
"Some one needed to start a conversation before you two ran screaming out of here."   
  
Barbara sighed. "Now I feel extremely guilty, Alfred."   
  
"Guilty?"   
  
"Those people treated her like a criminal, and I left her alone."   
  
"You were injured, you couldn't have known." Alfred turned to see her. "Don't feel sorry about that, you are in time to help her, to do something to help her to start again."   
  
"Do you like her?" Barbara asked him with curiosity.   
  
"Yes, she is interesting, and a big challenge as far as I can see:"   
  
"Yea, this isn't going to be easy."  
  
* * *   
  
Barbara tried to give Helena a normal life again, but it was difficult, she was closed in herself. Helena noticed that Barbara worked late every night; she was curious and she watched her work, talking and giving instructions, from the upper lever; lying down on the floor and looking through the rail. She imagined she worked helping the police but she exactly didn't know what she was doing.   
  
Alfred observered her one night as he was preparing the dinner. "Aren't you afraid that I will step on you Miss Helena?"   
  
"No. You are british... What does she do exactly? She works with the police?"   
  
"Had you ever asked her?"   
  
"No. Adults always answer me: "It isn't any of your business kid" or "Go away."   
  
"So why are you asking me instead? I'm an adult too"   
  
"No, you're an 'Alfred'"   
  
"And what is an 'Alfred'?" the butler asked curiously.   
  
"You." Helena turned to look at him "You are cool, and intelligent and open to talk."   
  
"Miss Barbara is too."   
  
"Maybe, but it's easier with you:" "Why?"   
  
"Because I don't know what to say every time I'm with her, maybe I would make her angry and she'd kick me out of here. and I like this place." Helena explained looking down again.   
  
"Mad with you? Why?" Alfred stood up next to her.   
  
"I don't know. but lately I seem to make people angry easily."   
  
"May I suggest trying to talk with her? She is as afraid as you to talk."   
  
"Are you joking? Watch her."   
  
"She is as alone as you Miss Helena. you two are afraid to open up to each other."   
  
"I'm okay." Helena said resting her head on her arms.   
  
"Yes, of course, she said the same thing."   
  
Helena growled and continued watching Barbara work. She felt comfortable living with her, she gave her own space, helped her with her homework and was good company, not as boring as she had thought in the beginning.   
  
* * * 


	7. Nightmares

Helena rested on the couch, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep, just like the first night she had been there. She looked around, the lights were off but she could see perfectly well, she took the pillow and held it, closing her eyes. It was soft like the blankets; she felt so good. It was a couch, but it was so much more comfortable than the mattress that she had sleeping on for those last months.  
  
Barbara had given her a home but. Helena opened her eyes again and was suddenly frightened; this was too good to be true, and she was afraid that some day it would be taken away, just like her life had been stolen that terrible night months ago. She hugged the pillow strongly trying to block that moment forever. This was her new home and she didn't want to lose it. Maybe it would be better not to become too attached to this home. nor to Barbara.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara was eating her breakfast waiting for Helena appear. Now her room was ready and the kid was resting in her own room; she had took the girl to choose her own mattress and the decoration of her 'place' as she called her bedroom. She loved be there hours and hours listening music.  
  
Barbara had been silently waiting since she had been there. Alfred gave her a cup of coffee.   
  
"Something is wrong?"   
  
"No, I was thinking... Do you think that I must reveal everything to Helena?"   
  
"She needs to know about Master Bruce." Alfred pointed.   
  
"I figured that, I have to do some hard work here... I don't know how Helena will take it when she finds out, I'm afraid of that." Barbara sipped her coffee.   
  
"Miss Helena is very smart and intelligent, maybe a little rebellious, but usually only rebellious against things she doesn't understand." Alfred raised his brow. "If you explain it well, I don't think it will be a problem for her.  
  
"I guess you are right... as always."  
  
Helena entered, running into the kitchen, and stumbled, falling to the floor with her books. Barbara and Alfred looked her trying not to laugh.  
  
"Late again?" Barbara asked.   
  
"Sorry...." Helena said picking up her notebooks "I didn't hear the alarm."   
  
"You never do Miss Helena" Alfred said serving her an orange juice. "I have to bang on your bedroom door every morning."   
  
"Sorry."   
  
"Big Ben might work Miss Barbara." Alfred pointed out.   
  
"Too expensive. You must try to go to sleep earlier." Barbara looked Helena.   
  
"I'll try but.. but..." Helena tried to explain.  
  
"Yes, I know, you stay awake watching me work at Delphi until late."  
  
Helena lowered her head, ashamed, she thought that Barbara had never seen her.  
  
"The first time you scared me, you are very silent, like a cat. But later it was easy to feel your gaze behind me on the second floor."  
  
"I'm sorry, I won't do it again:"  
  
"It doesn't matter to me, you can do it, just go to sleep earlier."  
  
"It doesn't matter to you?" Helena didn't expect that answer.  
  
"No."  
  
"Barbara, do you work with the police." Helena began to eat her sandwich.  
  
"Not really, I'm a kind of a detective." Barbara cleaned her mouth crossed her arms in the table and locked her eyes on hers "Hel, I'm going to confess something to you, and I'm going to do it because I trust you, and I want you to trust me some day. This is just between you and me. You can't tell anyone a word. Okay? "  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Well, I'm not the person that you imagined; I'm not just a school teacher" she took a deep breath "I'm a crime fighter. I used to work helping the JLA team with my data base ."  
  
Helena was surprised and puckered her frown. "What?"  
  
"I'm also the second in command of Amanda Waller's Suicide Squad. It's a long story but that's the truth, I help some heros to trap criminals. For that reason, it's important that you don't talk about this with anyone. Many people would kill to know this secret."  
  
Helena looked Alfred.  
  
"Trust him." Barbara smiled taking Alfred's arm. "He knows more than you. There re only two persons with whom I would trust my life, and he is one of them. I have your word? Will you keep the secret?"  
  
Helena was still stunned by the surprise and just nodded her head.  
  
"Thanks." Barbara smiled her. "There is more and I promise tell you everything but not now, it's late. I have an exam now at school." Barbara looked her watch. "and you need go to your classes."  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara finished another day's work at the Delphi. She turned off the equipment and put some CD's in boxes; she was thinking of Helena, she had noticed Helena appeared to always be nervous. Even the smallest noise made her jump and look around in fear, especially when she was distracted, but Helena was proud and she didn't like admit to her weaknesses. She guessed it was part of her trauma from her mother's murder, as were her nightmares.  
  
Barbara wheeled to her room and when she crossed in front of Helena's room she heard soft moans. She stopped a moment to make sure that the girl was okay but she knocked on the door without receiving an answer; She opened it and entered. She guided her chair next to the bed. Helena was breathing fast and Barbara could see her eyes moving quickly underneath her lids and a tears running down her cheeks.  
  
"Let me go." she mumbled. Barbara understood that she was having another nightmare and took her hand. "Please let me go."  
  
"Where do you want to go?" Barbara asked in a low voice. Helena moved her head from one side to the other. Barbara often needed go to her room when she heard her cry at nights. They never talked about it the next day; for that the girl was grateful and at the same time ashamed of her own fears.  
  
"Where do you want to go?" she insisted, trying to get Helena to face her fears.  
  
".My home"  
  
"You are at home." Barbara whispered.  
  
"No. he. locked me up again." Helena sobbed lightly. ".I'm cold."  
  
"He can't confine you. You are home." She covered her with the bedspread.  
  
"He's mad. he locked me." Helena cried and half opened her eyes. Barbara could see them in feral mode.  
  
"Shhh, easy, easy. It's just a nightmare" Barbara said with soft sat next to her holding her hand and brushing her hair; the kid closed her eyes again "He can't hurt you. Now you have a home and people that love you nearby. He can't come here, you are safe. I'm here with you."  
  
Barbara was there until she saw that her panic disappeared. She wheeled to her room when Helena finally fell into a deep sleep.  
  
Barbara tried to help her, to make her felt protected and secure. But it was difficult because Helena wouldn't open up to her. So, she tried to earn her trust slowly. One day they walked down the street, Barbara had promised to buy her new clothes; she loved clothes. They looked through stores and later entered a department store. Barbara looked for some blouses and the girl for jackets.  
  
Helena was near an exhibitor that was preparing a fashion show that weekend. Some workers were installing some walls as decoration. A kid that was playing under a rack of clothes pushed it and it crashed against one of the walls they were installing and it hit a scaffolding that fell. Helena was startled when she hear the noise. She jumped up instinctively, almost 15 feet, and she crouched on a kind of cornice used as decoration.  
  
The scaffolding fell with a big noise and raised up an enormous amount of dust; it crashed against many other racks of clothes and broke the store window; Helena's eyes changed to feral mode; she didn't understand what was happening and just looked down, frightened.   
  
Barbara turned her head when she heard the noise and watched the brunette; she couldn't avoid gaping at seeing her move so quickly. When the dust settled, there was confusion and many people ran out of the place, screaming. Barbara wheeled between the people and racks and stopped close to where Helena was. She had pressed her back against the wall; she saw her fear.  
  
"Helena, come here." She called her.  
  
"What happened?" she asked, her voice shaking.  
  
"Come here, everything is okay. It was just an accident." Helena looked around, there was mass confusion. "Come here, everything is okay, we need get out." Barbara insisted.  
  
Helena jumped down making sure no one saw her, which was easy, the people were distracted running from one side of the store to the other.  
  
"Are you okay?" the red head asked.  
  
"Yes." she nodded.  
  
"Take it easy, you are so nervous; you need to control it." Barbara looked at her surprised; Selina had talked about her skills but it was different now, watching it.  
  
"What?" Helena examined herself. "Something happened?"  
  
"Put these on." Barbara said, taking off a pair of sun glasses and giving it to her.  
  
"We're in a store." Helena said.  
  
"Your eyes..." Barbara whispered pointing them.  
  
"Oh, sorry." Helena put them on.  
  
"How high can you jump?" Barbara looked up to the cornice where Helena had been.  
  
"I don't know, I usually just jump to the second floor. I've never tried going higher." Helena looked up too.  
  
"Doesn't matter. Let's go." Many ideas began to whirl around in Barbara's mind. They left the store and went to eat lunch.  
  
* * * 


	8. Facing fears

Helena was in a very good mood, talking with Barbara in a fast food restaurant. She seemed happy; the red head observed and analyzed all her movements and reactions. Her mind had been spinning the image Helena's reaction to the loud noise in the store; it wasn't the first time that she had seen fear in her eyes. She was worried because the girl appeared to be more and more nervous.  
  
The girl's laughter pulled her from her inner thoughts; she laughed too.  
  
"But," Helena said, "he is now my friend."  
  
"That is good." Barbara said, hoping Helena hadn't noticed that she wasn't listening. "Helena. I want ask you something."  
  
"Shoot..." Helena finished her hotdog and sipped a bit of coke.  
  
"Have you noticed that you are really on edge? Any small noise scares you."  
  
"Me? You're kidding." Helena smiled. "That wasn't a small noise earlier."  
  
"I know, but. I have been watching you and you are always nervous. Maybe you haven't realized that. You need to learn to control your fears." Barbara told her.  
  
"I don't have any fears." Helena sighed.  
  
"You and I both have fears, but we need to face them or they will always follow us. It's nothing to be ashamed of; you should have more confidence to face them. I have fears."  
  
"You?" Helena scoffed. "Please!"  
  
"I have fears, I have nightmares. My demons follow me and I have to face them every day."  
  
"What demons?"  
  
"The demons of the image of the person that hurt me and put me in this chair. The demons that maybe some day I will be faced with him... And I'm still fighting against my condition of being disabled. It isn't easy to accept it, and even more so when you used to be free..."  
  
"I don't have demons following me." Helena lowered her eyes and played with a french fry in her fingers.  
  
"To face your demons, you first have to admit them," Barbara explained. "You have them. Your mother's murder is one."  
  
Helena threw the fry on her plate and moved uncomfortably on her chair.  
  
"Your nights alone in that orphanage," Barbara could see the kid begin to move nervously on the chair and she pushed her, "the nights that they locked you in that cold room; how many nights were you locked up, Helena? I read that the police hunted you everytime that you ran away. How did you feel running in the streets without a place to go."  
  
"I'm okay!" Helena said raising her voice. "I'm okay, get it?"  
  
"All those memories are following you like ghosts and you need to face them." Barbara fixed her eyes on her.  
  
"That's not true." Helena avoided her look and closed her ears again; that was the only way to not remember and not to feel.  
  
"Avoiding it won't help you. If you ignore the wound you can never heal it."  
  
"You don't know me!" Helena stood up "You couldn't know what I'm feeling, I'm okay... did you hear me? I'm okay!"  
  
"No, you aren't okay." Barbara said in calm voice, resting her back on the chair "Look at yourself, you're trembling; you are scared to accept that the last few months still hurt you. Sit down."  
  
Helena looked around without knowing what to do.  
  
"Are you thinking of running away as you always do? Come on! Sit down, Helena!," Barbara said with a firm voice. "You can't run all your life! You can go if you wish, but before you do, tell me from who, or what, you are running? From me and my words, or from the truth that lies behind them? This is not my reality, it's yours."  
  
Barbara kept silent a few seconds watching the kid block in her feelings. "Sit down." she insisted. The girl obeyed angrily, afraid that Barbara was getting too close to the truth.  
  
"This is not about me, it's about you," Barbara said in low voice. "I see you crying at night, I saw you jumping, as frightened as a hunted animal. I'm trying to help you, I'm worried for you. I'm afraid as you are now of my demons. You are not the only one that feels scared. Many nights I wake up crying too. But I'm not hiding, I'm facing my past and my present. I want you to do it some day too."  
  
Helena didn't say a word, she fixed her eyes on the floor. Barbara understood that was the moment to stop pressing her. "I know that you don't like to talk about this; just think about it. When you face your own fears, you will feel much better. I promise not to talk again about this until you want, okay?"  
  
Helena didn't respond; she continued staring at the floor.  
  
"I know that the things will never be the same; but I don't want your past to destroy your future. I want you to learn to live with it." Barbara touched her shoulder but Helena moved to avoid it. She stood up and walked hurriedly to the exit.  
  
"Helena!" Barbara called her, but the girl didn't turn around. Barbara followed her but when she got to the door, she had gone. Barbara sighed, feeling guilty, maybe she had pressed her too much. She lowered her head while she pondered what to do.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena walked without direction for many hours. She jumped on a building and later to another using each one as a stairway. Finally, she sat on the rooftop of a five floor building looking at the lights. She looked at the next building. There were almost 40 yards between it and the one she was on. She wasn't a coward; she had accepted her mothers death, she had survive the YDT; Barbara was wrong. Helena looked down, she could jump that distance. She stepped back, her eyes locked on the other building; she could face her fears; she could keep going alone she didn't need anyone, not even Barbara.  
  
She ran and jumped; the feeling of flying was amazing, suddenly she realized she had miscalculated the distance and she felt her heart beat faster. She couldn't reach the other side. Her hands barely caught the edge. Her body smashed heavily against the wall and the air was knocked from her lungs. She endured the pain trying not let go and fall to the ground.  
  
"Damn." she mumbled clenching her teeth and trying to recover her breath. She rested a few seconds and tried to climb but her feet slipped on the wall. She looked down, it was too high to try to jump down, she had never jumped more than two floors. She tried to lift her own weight with her hands but it was impossible; she slipped again. She began to feel tired and looked for someone to help her.  
  
She saw a small hole in the wall and put the tip of her shoe in it to use it to climb. She rested her weight there and the wall broke and she fell down. Scared, she saw the black sky over her, she turned to land on her feet but under her were boxes and a container; she closed her eyes. She fell over the container; she bounced against the wood boxes and into the garbage with a loud thud.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara was worried, she was waiting for Helena at home. Barbara wheeled around the lab anxiously. She felt they had been trying to face against her fears but she didn't have an idea that her denies were so strong; she had took her to the edge and she had exploded. She was afraid of her reaction, she really didn't know her in this situation and neither knew what she would do. Helena always had been in a warm place and the success in the last months had been a strong shock to her.  
  
She looked her watch. It was late, almost eleven. She looked at Alfred and picked up the phone. "I'll call the police."  
  
"Miss Barbara trust her. She'll come back."  
  
"I was so hard on her."  
  
"Nothing is easy."  
  
"I know but maybe it was too much, too soon." Barbara said.  
  
"She needs to face her fears, and as you said, she will never do it is she keeps hiding," Alfred pointed out. "She is smart, she will understand.  
  
The elevator door opened, Barbara waited, hopefully. Helena entered but something was wrong. Barbara took off her glasses. Alfred smelled something strange.  
  
"Helena, are you okay?"  
  
"Yes." she said walking to her room.  
  
"What happened to you?" Barbara followed her; she heard a strange squishing sound every time she took a step.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Helena, come here please. I want to apologize." Barbara also got a good whiff of the rotten smell.  
  
Helena stood up and turned her head to see Barbara. The red head looked at her surprised, she opened her mouth. Helena was covered in trash and smelled awful.  
  
"Don't say a word, it was an accident... what do you want?" Helena asked in a bad mood.  
  
"What happened to you?"  
  
Helena put her hands in her pockets and turned to see her "I couldn't jump as far as I imagined and I fell into a trash container."  
  
Barbara couldn't hold in her laugh and covered her mouth. "I'm sorry," she said.  
  
Helena rolled her eyes and saw Alfred laughing too. "What is so funny?" she asked feeling pissed, she had a bad night and now she needed to listen to the jokes from the two of them.  
  
Barbara and Alfred couldn't answer they were laughing hysterically. Helena glared at them.  
  
"Sorry." Barbara mumbled holding her stomach "I want. I want to apologize to you because today I was so hard on you but. sorry"  
  
"Forget it," Helena sighed, she couldn't avoid smiling and covered her face with a hand, then started to laugh with them. "I feel so stupid."  
  
"No, this is extremely funny, sorry Hel. Go to take a bath and come to dinner."  
  
"And please don't touch anything." Alfred pointed.  
  
The bad day finished with a nice, relaxing dinner for all of them. Helena accepted that she needed to face her fears and that Barbara was trying to help her. 


	9. Confessions

A few nights later, Helena was seated outside the Clock Tower, holding her legs and looking over the city. She was thinking about Barbara's; she never imagined that she would be a hero. Many ideas were floating around her mind. Barbara wheeled up and stopped the chair next to her.  
  
"Barbara, why can't you walk? What was that 'accident' that you told me about? Who hurt you?" Helena asked with curiosity. "Was it revenge because you are a crime fighter?"   
  
"Well... that's what I want to talk to you about." Barbara explained "Yes... it was an old enemy that shot me in my apartment, the same night that your mother was murdered, it was the same man."  
  
"What??" Helena turned to see her surprised.   
  
"I'll confess many things to you, many things are going to be very hard for you, but you need to know." Barbara swallowed hard. Have you heard about Batman and Batgirl?"  
  
"My mom told me about them, she told me they were crime fighters and that she knew them. I never saw anyone; I read and heard about their legends sometimes in news. But that's all." Helena looked her "Do you know them too?"  
  
"Well, yes. I. I had another name; another identity, another self." Barbara played with her fingers nervous "Helena, I'm giving all my trust to you now. Many people would kill to know this secret. I used to work with a man... Batman."  
  
"Did you work with him?" Helena was surprised "With Delphi?"   
  
"No. yes, well. I... I was Batgirl." Barbara locked her eyes on her.   
  
"Batgirl?" Helena blinked, she was an intellectual, a very serious woman, she couldn't imagine her jumping between buildings and hitting bad guys "You are joking. You were a U.S. Congresswoman to Humanities Executive and."  
  
"I met your mother in the streets, she as Catwoman and me as Batgirl. We were enemies, we fought against each other many times. She was so smart and agile, I never could catch her"  
  
Helena listened without knowing what to think. Barbara was talking seriously.  
  
"As I said, many people would kill to know this secret and take revenge on Batgirl." Barbara looked her. "I'm giving all my trust to you."  
  
"Why would you be Batgirl? I don't understand, you had a great life!"  
  
"It was a childhood fantasy. While my best friend Marcy came up with the roles, I became them, dreaming of becoming a superhero: Rocketgirl, Marvelousgirl, Supergirl, or whatever. This fantasy allowed me to escape the harsh reality of living in a home with an alcoholic father. I understand your anger and how you feel, and I know that is difficult for you stay with me living here, because my parents perished in an automobile accident when i was a pre-teen, the accident was caused by my father's drunkenness. I was forced, like you, to leave my best friend, Marcy, and my Ohio childhood behind to go and live in Gotham City with my Uncle James and Aunt Barbara."  
  
"The Commisioner Gordon. He isn't your father?" Helena sat in front of her again.  
  
"In my hart yes, forever. Upon being taken in by the Gordons, I discovered that my uncle, who soon after became my adoptive father, wasn't an ordinary policeman. He knew, he was friends with Batman. I loved see them work together." Barbara was exited talking about them "They were a marvelous team, they inspired me and I trained myself to become his partner and did not waver from that goal for the next several years until college and more "grown-up" dreams sidetracked me."  
  
Barbara sighed and continued looking distractedly to the city. Helena followed her words.  
  
"Long after my graduating from college and embarking on a career as the Head Librarian for Gotham City Library; to surprise my father and to relive my childhood excitement of pretending to be a superhero, I had designed and made a fully-functional "Batgirl" costume to wear to the policeman's masquerade ball, but on the way there, I happened upon Killer Moth's attack on Bruce Wayne and instinctively I leapt into action. I provided enough of a distraction for Wayne to slip away."  
  
"I meet Batman there for the first time. I assisted the Dynamic Duo sometimes and later I asked him be my mentor, but he refused in the beginning, but I have a photographic memory, and," Barbara smiled, proud of herself, "I'm an excellent detective; he admired my analytical researcher's mind and agreed to train me. I'm a brown belt in judo, have a background in gymnastics, dance, and other athletics..."  
  
"I guess Batman agreed to train me as a crime fighter upon figuring out who I was and attempting to keep me out of trouble." Barbara laughed "For the next few years, I was the head librarian of Gotham Library and eventually became a congresswoman as well. As Batgirl, I had wild adventures, captured all sorts of villains, teamed up with Robin and the private investigator, Jason Bard "  
  
"I occasionally displayed moments of doubt and vulnerability as a crime fighter. One time a man who's name is Cormorant shot me and almost killed me. I questioned my effectiveness as a superhero for a long time, which led me to retire as Batgirl."  
  
"My old friend Marcy turned up in my life just at the time I was seriously questioning my effectiveness as Batgirl and during Marcy's visit, she help me to conquer the foe I feared most - Cormorant - and I was able to put Batgirl behind me with no regrets."  
  
"I won Batman's respect, and I became one of the few to know his true identity. He is Bruce Wayne." Barbara was waiting for the best moment to tell her the truth.  
  
"The millionaire?" Helena felt surprised "He is a playboy! Why would a man like him would want to be a crime fighter and expose his life in that way?"  
  
"His father and her mother were murdered when he was a kid, he always kept that in mind and he made the choice to fight against the crime. The night that you mother was murdered, I, as Batgirl and Batman fought against the Joker, you know him, no?"  
  
"Yes, an insane criminal."  
  
"Batman was Gotham's greatest champion, and most people never even knew he existed. The last time I fought at his side was that night. We'd cornered the Joker, the worst criminal Gotham had ever known, smashed his organization and hunted him down. Batman could've killed the Joker... but he didn't. And his honor had a price. The Joker got away from the police, a few hours... just long enough to send a man to kill your mother and to come for me himself." Tears began to fall over Barbara's cheeks. Helena was shocked with her words; Barbara was trying to tell her something. something big.  
  
"That night I heard the news of your mother's murder on TV. The first thought that come to my mind was you. I went to the phone to try to locate you when I heard someone knocking on the door. I ran to open it without precaution thinking it was you, but it was the Joker. He surprised me, even now I don't know how he could have known I was Batgirl. That's why I couldn't be with you that night and the following days, I was at the hospital, I woke up four days later."  
  
Helena kneeled in front of her and put her hands on the armrests. "Why did he send someone to kill my mother? She wasn't a crime fighter, she quit everything for me."  
  
"Helena." Barbara took a deep breath "Your mother and Batman knew each other when she was Catwoman. They fell in love. and. and you were born."  
  
"What?" Helena blinked.  
  
* * *  
  
Okay exist two versions of Barbara's parents I took the one of Legends of the DC Universe 10-11. 


	10. The truth

"Bruce Wayne, Batman is your father." Barbara leaned over her and caressed her cheek, talking in sweet voice. Helena was totally surprised "She never talked you about him, no?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Selina hid it from him; they broke up for some reason; even now he doesn't know that he has a daughter and that daughter is you; but the love that Selina and Bruce felt for each other never died. He almost turned crazy when she was murdered. Bruce always loved her and she loved him too."  
  
Helena stood up and walked nervously on the balcony trying to understand what Barbara was telling her. She and her mother used to talk about everything but truth was that every time she asked for her father Selina always smiled and said to that he was a good man and that she would know him when she grew up a little more, that she would feel proud of him. And she was so happy that she really didn't have a great interest in know her father.  
  
Her mother had talked sometimes to him by phone; and maybe two or three times she knew she had seen him, but that was all. She didn't know Bruce, she just heard about him; she never expected he was her father. How could her mother hide it from her? "No, it can't be." she mumbled  
  
"He is." Barbara said.  
  
"Why did she never tell me?" Helena felt confused. Many ideas began to whirl in her head.  
  
"To protect you." Barbara said.  
  
"To protect me?"  
  
"Yes, it would have been dangerous for you. She hid you from Bruce too, his enemies would go after you to get at him, and you were just a child. It was the better for him and for you, to hide your birth. In this way you had a normal childhood, you were happy, very happy."  
  
Helena paced faster, she ran her hands through her hair without knowing what to think. "Please, Barbara" she asked kneeling in front of her again and putting her hands on her knees "tell me this isn't the truth."  
  
"I can't Hel. You mother confided in me, I was just as surprised as you when I found out! Your father is the millionaire Bruce Wayne and Batman, the greatest hero in New Gotham."  
  
"Why did he let the police take me to the orphanage? Why didn't he take me away?"  
  
"He didn't know, he don't know that you existed, I told you."  
  
"I was locked unfairly there! I lived in hell!" Helena stood up and raised her voice "How could he not know? He knew she had a daughter!"  
  
"But he never imagined you were his daughter." Barbara said.  
  
Helena kept silent a few seconds and then faced Barbara. "He was a hero? Why didn't he avenge my mother's death? He knew who killed her, why didn't he kill that bastard?"  
  
"We don't kill Helena. It's a honor code." Barbara said to her.  
  
"I don't care about honor codes!" Helena shouted standing up "A criminal killed my mother! Why should he respect his life when the murderer didn't respect her life?"  
  
"I know that it's hard to understand but..."  
  
"No! This is not a matter of understanding or not! This is justice! An eye for an eye, and a tooth for tooth. Where is he now?" the kid shouted.  
  
"I think the Joker wanted to drive Batman mad. And maybe he did. Because a few months later he left. Gotham, his work... everything. He's gone..." Barbara said.  
  
Helena paced on the balcony feeling the angry growing inside her. "He just left? Left you here? Knowing you are...? I can't believe it! Some brave hero!"  
  
"It was too much for him, and he couldn't take revenge. A hero doesn't kill." Barbara repeated.  
  
"Where is that stupid law written? You said he loved my mom! If he really loved her he must kill him!"  
  
"Joker planned to kill your mother, but it was another man who did it. We don't know who it was! Now you understand why it was necessary to hide your birth?"  
  
"I will kill him, I will do it as soon as I know who it was, I'm not a coward!" Helena yelled raising her hands.  
  
"Don't call him a coward!" Barbara said angrily. "You don't have the right!"  
  
"Why not? He is my father, right? You said that! His honor lost my mother's life. What's more important the honor code or her life? I don't understand him, I don't understand you!" Helena walked into Clock Tower, furious.  
  
"Helena wait, come back!" The girl didn't listen to her and walked out furiously. Barbara followed her. She wheeled in and found Alfred in the middle of the corridor.  
  
"Where is Helena?"  
  
"Are you referring to that hurricane that walked into her room?" Alfred asked. "What happened?"  
  
"I told her everything...." Barbara bit her lip. " Now I don't know if it was a mistake..."  
  
"Everything means... everything?" Alfred asked.  
  
"Yes... all Alfred, all! She needed to know it or at least that's what I thought!" Barbara was nervous.  
  
"It's her right to know the truth, Miss Barbara." Alfred said to her.  
  
"I know, but it hurt her."  
  
"It would happen today or tomorrow, you know that. And you know that this truth isn't easy for anyone. Neither for you, nor for Master Bruce."  
  
Barbara nodded and wheeled to Helena's room. She heard her crying. The door was locked, she took the keys and opened it. She pushed the manual chair in.  
  
"Leave me alone!" Helena cried with her face hiding in the pillow.  
  
"Sorry, I know this not the right way to enter your room but I know this isn't easy for you." Barbara wheeled to her side. "I know that all this hurt you so much, but Bruce didn't know that he had a daughter, he still doesn't know."  
  
"I don't want to see him! Never!"  
  
"Just because he didn't kill the Joker?"  
  
"He should have, he should have, my mother would be alive now!" Helena turned her face to the other side to avoid looking at her.  
  
"He didn't know that he would escape and do what he did." Barbara said with soft voice and caressing her hair.  
  
"And why he didn't he kill him later?"  
  
"It's a honor code that some day you will understand..."  
  
"Honor with murderers? No, I will never understand that. Leave me alone!" Helena asked.  
  
"Okay... I'll leave," Barbara sighed "but before I do, answer one question."  
  
Helena didn't respond and continued sobbing.  
  
"Have you cried with anyone? Who was with with you after your mother's death? Who held you and told you I'm sorry, I love you "  
  
Helena turned her head slowly, to watch Barbara covering her face with the pillow so that only her eyes were visible.  
  
"This is so hard for you. You are not guilty of anything. Your mom just tried to protect you by hiding your father's identity from you. Look at me, look what happened to me, an insane man attacked me, and I'm an adult, I can defend myself alone but I couldn't prevent Joker from injuring me." Barbara couldn't prevent her eyes from turning moist.  
  
Helena locked her eyes on hers.  
  
"Your mother knew how dangerous the criminals who fought against your father were, she was waiting for you to grow up to tell you everything, but she didn't have time. It was unfair that the goverment sent you to the Detention Center just because they never tried to understand how you feel. I know why you did all that, why you escaped. You felt everthing was unfair and you were right. They treated you like a criminal and you are a girl with a big heart."  
  
Helena saw her crying.  
  
"You know me, not from now, from many years ago. You know that I never lied to you. I love you Helena. Let me cry with you, let me hug you and tell to you how much I love you." Barbara pleaded.  
  
Helena didn't respond and almost jumped over her hugging her strongly crying. Barbara hugged her back. "I love you so much, Hel."  
  
"I miss her, Barbara" she sobbed resting her head over her shoulder. "I miss her."  
  
"I know it, I know. I'm here with you."  
  
Barbara felt Helena start to purr like a little kitty, she knew that it happened when she felt happy, felt comfortable or wanted showed her love for someone. Selina had told her that she used to purr all the time when she was a baby and was in her arms.  
  
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Helena whispered.  
  
"Sure... You don't kick, right?" Barbara smiled.  
  
"No, but maybe you would, you are a hero."  
  
"Well, I promise not to kick you too hard..."  
  
"It's a deal?" Helena asked in low voice.  
  
"Yes, I promise."  
  
She knew that the girl would develop more when she grew up. She knew just a few of her skills, she would help Helena to discover it slowly. But now, she just wanted make her feel better, protected. At home.  
  
* * * 


	11. Problems in home

Alfred entered to the study of the Clock Tower with a tray of coffee. Helena was in the living room doing her homework. Barbara was reading some papers, her semblance was serious. She looked at Alfred.  
  
"Something wrong?" he asked.  
  
"Selina's lawyer sent me a Court order." She gave him the paper "The lawyer thinks that I don't have the capability to take care of her because I can't walk, and because of all her problems in the last months, he considers her to be dangerous."  
  
"Selina's lawyer? Why he is doing this?"  
  
"He thinks that I'm useless and that Helena is walking around in the street with a Uzi. This man doesn't understand that Helena had the common response of a hurt and fearful kid: rebellion."  
  
"Yes, but the difference is that she is half-meta..." Alfred looked at Helena who was distracted, copying a lesson in her notebook in the other side of the second floor..  
  
"Yes, and she could do things that normal kids couldn't, such as escaping by jumping out of a high window or knocking out policemen." Barbara took a sip of coffee.  
  
"Can she hear us?" Alfred asked in low voice.  
  
"No, I don't think that would be an ability that she would develop." Barbara looked to the place were Helena was working "I guess that she would jump higher distances and run faster. Maybe with training she would move faster, and it would help her to control her temper. And to control her changing pupils when is mad, excited or scared; I don't want people to begin asking questions or investigating her. She has been with me almost two months and she looks happy, well, in her possibilities. She hasn't given me any problems and she is very smart, her profesor told me that she is now at the same level as her classmates; she lost almost three months of classes."  
  
"And what happened? She accepted the idea of her father helping you by giving you a building and equipment?"  
  
"Oh my! That was very hard work, she is more stubborn than Selina and Bruce put together. But she finally accepted, took a lot for me to convince her, but she finally accepted. She feels resentful against him. That worries me."  
  
"Have you talked with him?"  
  
"No, I don't know how to find him, he just disappeared. I don't know how both would react if they ever come face to face. Helena would never be the same. She, like me, has ghosts that follow her, ghosts that maybe someday we will escape. She cries often at nights but sometimes she lies to me and tells me she is okay, I think that she tries to show that she is strong, and it's hard for her to open up to me."  
  
"It's too soon." Alfred pointed out.  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
"Oh..." Alfred raised his brows "I thought you didn't know..."  
  
Barbara glared at him. "Alfred... How did you know that she lies to me sometimes? She told you?"  
  
"No, I figured it out because you didn't say anything to her. She thinks she is a very good liar and that you haven't noticed it; but the truth is that she is a very bad liar and I don't want to break her heart."  
  
Barbara smiled and moved her head "Yeah, you're right. I hope she trusts me soon, and she stops her little lies. Well Alfred, I need to contact the lawyer for Wayne's Foundation; I think this will finish in court and I need to talk with him. I don't want to take Hel to a Court House, she has suffered so much and this is not fair to her."  
  
* * *  
  
Helena felt much better, she was back at her school with her friends and Barbara wasn't acting like a mother, she was more like a very good friend; she listened to her and always had time to help or give her advice; she gave her space and let her be her. But she couldn't avoid lying, in common habit of teens, when she went to a party or escaped to some place with her friends.  
  
Before her mother's death she had been very popular and friendly. She tried to continue her life but the sadness of losing her mother was with her almost all day. The idea to some day locate her mother's murderer kill him never left her the following years.  
  
She entered looking for Barbara in the Clock Tower with her school bag on her back. She saw Alfred polishing silver in the kitchen and walked in there.  
  
"Where is Barbara, Alfred?" she asked taking an apple and sitting in a chair.  
  
"She's not here, she had an important appointment."  
  
"Not here yet? Where would she be? She told me that she couldn't wait for me at the school. What happened to her?"  
  
"Happened? What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, she never left me at the school. The last few days she has been distracted working in the library or in Wayne's offices. I asked her but she told me she is signing legal papers for my house and her apartment."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And I don't believe her..." Helena bit her apple.  
  
"She has alot of work to do, Miss Helena. Now she is working to change the equipment here, she wants to find a better computer system."  
  
"I know, and I asked her not accept money from him."  
  
" 'Him' meaning Master Bruce?" Alfred rose his brown looking her.  
  
"I don't want anything from him." Helena said in firm voice. "I don't want to indebt anyone to him, I don't want to feel obligated to see him later."  
  
"You don't like him, but you don't know him."  
  
"So..."  
  
"But with his support he helped Miss Barbara to trust herself again and with the Wayne's Foundation patronage she would not have access to this equipment. The latest in technology is here, the Hummer was adapted especially for her, and she can drive it with just her hands and have very nice accessories inside, like the computer. You know that a regular person could never do it. All this is really expensive."  
  
"Yes, I know, she told me. Barbara and I had a long discussion about that. I asked her move us to my home but she told me and she's right, that she couldn't develop herself as well as here. This place is special for her, she can move very well and do everything for herself. I accepted all this just for her." Helena raised her finger "Just for her, listen to it well."  
  
"I got it." Alfred said trying to sound serious.  
  
"Okay, now back to our first discussion point. What happened with her?"  
  
"Is that a question or is it the topic of discussion?"  
  
"Alfred! You know what is happening! Tell me!"  
  
"Miss Helena, a butler is always a very discrret person." Alfred pointed out.  
  
"You are not a buttler remember? You are an Alfred. This would be our secret."  
  
"Miss Helena," Alfred finished polishing the silver and cleaned his hands, "you and I could write a book with all 'our secrets'."  
  
"So it's really easy, it's just one more." Helena's eyes shone and she smiled.  
  
"If Miss Barbara finds out she will kill me."  
  
"No, remember that her Honor Code prohibits a hero from killing. I would like to help her if I can." Helena looked at him with puppy dog eyes and took his arm. "Please, tell me, please."  
  
"Okay, but just promise me that you won't say a word to her or I will tell her about the escape you made to go to that party last Saturday." Alfred said to her.  
  
"That is blackmail!" Helena protested.  
  
Alfred smiled and nodded.  
  
"Okay, okay" Helena raised her hand "I promise."  
  
"She felts very stressed. Your mother's attorney is trying to take away the legal custody of you that your mother gave to Miss Barbara. He is fighting for the state to take care of you."  
  
Helena turned pale, "I don't want to go back there."  
  
"Barbara doesn't want you to go back there again, either. She is preparing her defence working with the lawyers of Wayne's Corporation to prevent the lawyer from taking you to the court to testify or take you back to the DYFS while the case is resolved. His first argument is that she is a disabled person and that she doesn't have the capability to take care of any girl. His second argument is that you are a rebellious girl..."  
  
"...That had been in a Detention Center." Helena added lowering her head.  
  
"I'm telling this to you because it will be good if you help her by avoiding getting into trouble, everyone has an argument against Miss Barbara; she didn't want to tell you, she doesn't want you to worry."  
  
"Why is my mother's lawyer doing this?"  
  
"Because he thinks it's the best for you and for her."  
  
"He doesn't know me, he doesn't know those awful places! He just has to follow my mother's orders. I will never go back there!" Helena grumbled.  
  
"Miss Helena, Miss Barbara is going to fight against everything to protect you, be sure of that." He touched her shoulder, she gave him back a light smile.  
  
Helena kept it to herself that the idea of going back to the Detention Center or the Orphanage frightened her. She looked at her watch nervously; waiting for Barbara was better than trying to sleep. 


	12. A story

Barbara arrived late that night, she had been working with the lawyers preparing the defence to be shown the next day in Court. She went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. She smiled, good old Alfred had left her dinner ready with a small card. She prepared coffee and later wheeled to the table to eat in silence and looked at Delphi's.  
  
That place gave her a new perspective look for her future. She always had been thinking she would be Batgirl all her life, a guardian of the night; she had never thought that something would stop her, because she was a hero; but she was wrong.  
  
Later she had felt all her world fell down, no hopes, no choices, no future. There had been dark days and nights when she for the first time in her life, felt really defeated. Until that moment she realized how important it was to her to breath the cold air and just be over the rooftops balancing and jumping. That feeling of freedom; the night, the stars, the lights of the city, all that was part of her life and her soul. With out that she thought she could never survive, but she did it.  
  
She had rediscover her self working as a cybernetic crime-fighter; she had found being disabled wasn't an obstacle to not keep on going. And know that someone needed her, like Helena, made her grow and trust in her self. And in some way was a challenge to help her and recover all the things that she had lost. She knew she needed to work so much more by, first making her feel secure and later teaching her to trust more in her self. She knew the kid was panicked with the idea of being alone again. Helena had a strong character and the determination, she just needed to face her fears.  
  
Suddenly, she felt two arms around her neck and Helena kissing her on the head. She looked at her surprised, she was almost like a ghost, she never heard her walk in.  
  
"What was that for?" she asked.  
  
Helena sat in the next chair, she was wearing her pajamas. "Nothing..."  
  
"I'm going to put a bell around your neck. I'm wondering why I haven't done it yet; one of these days you are going to scare me."  
  
"I'm sorry." Helena gave her a light smile and, crossing her arms on the table she rested her head there watching her eat. "Where have you been?" "Working, I'm changing the equipment for the Delphi and I'm preparing the requirements."  
  
"Everything is fine?"  
  
"Yes of course."  
  
"Barbara, are you my legal guardian?"  
  
"Yes..." Barbara looked her with curiosity.  
  
"Why?" Helena asked.  
  
"Why?" The red head was surprised.  
  
"Yes, why? You told me, you two were enemies. How did you become friends?" Helena raised her head and rested her cheek in her hand.  
  
"Don't feel offended. She was an excellent criminal. Batman and I always were behind her, more often Batman than me, I imagine it was a pride thing between both and they felt attraction for each other. One rainy night, I heard noises in a jewlery store, I went inside and I saw her conversing with her partners. They wanted to kill the owner; she just wanted the diamonds. She had to fight against them to save the owner's life, forgetting the diamonds. I went down to help her, they were overwhelming her." Barbara remembered moving her coffee. "I started to fight and I didn't realize that one of the men pointed a gun at me. Your mother hit the man in time to stop the bullet from killing me. Suddenly, the police arrived and a cross fire started. She was hurt in her shoulder but she could escape, she was extremely agile. I followed her, which was difficult, she ran very fast, but she was bleeding too much and she fell unconscious, luckily she fell from the rooftop to a balcony. I took her to my apartment."  
  
"She was a catburglar, why did you help her?"  
  
"Well, she had saved the life of a man and my life. I owed her one and besides, she technically didn't steal anything that night, she was innocent. I knew she had committed many robberies but I didn't have proof against her, and without proof you can't be guilty. It's the law." Barbara explained sipping a bit of coffee. "She surprised me by fighting furiously trying to defend that man's life, a man that she didn't know, and later saving my life when we were enemies. I guess she was a criminal, but that didn't matter anymore, and I was wrong."  
  
"I needed to take off her costume to heal the wound. When I took off her mask I discovered she was Selina, Bruce's girlfriend. I knew her, but as Barbara Gordon. When she woke up she was really afraid to find that her identity had been discovered. I asked her to trust me, that I was just trying to help her and I took off my mask. She was surprised when she saw me, she couldn't believe it. We talked about her reasons for being a burglar and my reasons for being a crime fighter. We respected each other that night; she was a burglar with an honor code like mine and we kept our mutual promise to keep our secrets safe."  
  
"Which honor code? You talk so much about it." Helena asked, curious.  
  
"Your mother was a catburglar but not a killer. She didn't kill like us, our word has a value and we never betray, we never lie. We respect our enemies. She stayed in my apartment almost three days. It was in that time that we got to know each other and became friends. When I took her to her house I remember saying to her: 'Just be careful, because if I catch you, you sure will be in jail a long time' She smiled and answered me 'First you need to catch me'. Of course I never could do it."  
  
Helena smiled feeling proud of her mother. Barbara could see her eyes shining and told her: "Your mother was a hero too, you know that?" Helena opened her eyes surprised, Barbara smiled "Your mother helped Batman once to save the city from Scarecrow, a criminal that poisoned all the citizens and him. She was very helpful and she told me it was then that they began to feel attraction for each other, and this attraction grew when he discovered Selina was Catwoman. I don't know exactly when she discovered he was Bruce Wayne. It was strange, a crime fighter in love with the Queen of the Criminal Underworld."  
  
"My mom was called the Queen of the Criminal Underworld?" Helena raised her head.  
  
"Yes, I found her sometime later as Selina, the woman, and we had a good time; but I couldn't catch her as Catwoman. Almost a year later she dissapeared." Barbara finished her dinner and cleaned her mouth "One day some years ago I saw her in the street. I thought she had come back to continue her criminal career. I asked her and she laughed, telling me she quit that life. I couldn't believe it. She invited me to her house. I went there for two reasons, first, she was funny and a very good conversationalist; second I was trying to discover if she was lying to me or not. And she wasn't liying to me, she told me the truth, that day I meet you."  
  
"Yea, I remember that, I thought that you were a giant."  
  
Barbara laughed. "Really? Well, I remember you were very small, just a child. Your mom continued a normal life and I my career as Batgirl; we saw each other often and she and Bruce sometimes went out but she didn't talk so much about him."  
  
"When did you now about 'him' was my father?" Helena asked resting her head again in her arms.  
  
Barbara took a seconds before answer "It was just a few years ago that she confessed to me that you were his daughter and asked me to keep the secret to protect you; that same day your mother asked me if I would take care of you if something happened to her, I said yes and that's all, we never talked about that again. Three months ago when her lawyer came here and told me that she had given me your custody in her will I felt terrible. I had failed her, and I failed you; she didn't want you to suffer and I, lost in my own pain, forgot you, and you needed someone, you were alone. I'm sorry."  
  
Helena kept silent a few seconds and then said in low voice, "You were hurt and in the hospital; wasn't a good time for you or for me, but it wasn't our fault. And now I'm not alone, I'm with you."  
  
"Yes, now we aren't alone." Barbara brushed her hair.  
  
"And I'll stay here always?"  
  
"As long as you want, this is your home."  
  
"And no one will take me away from here?" Helena asked frightened, waiting for her answer."Am I safe here? Would you stop someone from taking me to that jail again?"  
  
"Do you know about the lawyer?" Barbara could read the fear in the girl in her eyes.  
  
Helena just nodded. Barbara hugged her, kissing her forehead. "Don't worry, you will never go back there. Nobody will touch you again, I promise it Helena, I give you my word. And you now know that a hero never lies."  
  
Helena hugged her back strongly, she felt secure in her arms; a security that she had lost when her mother was murdered; a security that she was afraid to lose again. A security that Barbara was determined to gave her back again. 


	13. Final battle

A few weeks later Barbara had a meeting in the District Judge's office. She was trying to prevent the trial in the court and this was her last attempt to do it. She waited tapping her fingers in the table; the lawyer of Wayne's Corporation was with her. A few minutes later Selina's lawyer and an attorney from the Youth Detention Center arrived. They sat in front of them and opened a suitcase.  
  
"Miss Gordon" the lawyer said giving to Barbara some papers "this is our last date. Here we must decide if we take this case to the Court or not. I'll ask you for the last time to please, sign the papers to give the custody of Helena Kyle to the state."  
  
Barbara gave the papers him back without reading them and glared at him. "Sorry, Selina Kyle asked me take care of her child, I gave her my word and I will do it."  
  
"Miss Gordon, why do you insist on keeping that girl? She is a menace to you and the people."  
  
"Well, your opinion just shows me that you don't know her." Barbara explained "I haven't had any problems with her in the months that she has been living with me."  
  
"Here I have the report from the Youth Detention Center." the lawyer gave her some papers. "She was moved there because she caused many problems in the orphanage, she was violent and fought with the other girls. She escaped from the Detention Center many times; she injured a policeman and committed some robberies."  
  
"Is this a joke? Can you explain to me how a 16 year old girl could hurt a policeman with training and experience? This just shows me the incapacity of the personnel of the Center to manage a girl, for that reason I'm preparing a suit against the YDC."  
  
"What?" the lawyer looked at her surprised.  
  
"Yes," the Wayne's corporation lawyer spoke "If a girl of 16 years could escape from the YDC that many times in less than two months, it means that the security system there is a disaster and that the YDC doesn't have the training personnel and policemen necessary to manage those kids; Of course that means that the Director don't have the capability to manage the institution. She is just 5'2" tall." He put over the table a picture of Helena. The lawyers studied at the picture.  
  
"If you want to take your incompetence to the court it's okay, I'll accept." Barbara smiled. "It will be interesting for the Judge to find out why the Director of the YDC closed this girl soaked wet in a cold cell."  
  
The lawyer of Wayne's corporation gave them a copy of some papers. "We have the statement of the custody guard that took her to the infirmary and lost her job: Kelly Harrison. She was fired for helping a sick girl."  
  
Barbara fixed her eyes on Selina's lawyer. "Selina trusted you and now you are trying to stop her request, you are betraying her. Maybe I am disabled but I have something that the Director of the YDC and you two don't have: heart and conscience." The red head raised her voice angry and pointed at them "That man and his methods almost destroyed a girl's life because of his incompetence, you never listened to her; and your best choice was jail her because it was more easy than trying to understand her. I rescued her and I'm not going to let her return to that place. It doesn't matter how much time and money it costs me. I could care less if I need to start many trials. She will never go back there, I'm not going let you destroy her life just because of your prejuices against a woman that can't walk! Understand?"  
  
* * *  
  
Helena was distracted looking the lights of the city. She missed her home, her mother; but some day she will had the opportunity to take revenge, she was sure of that. Barbara had given her a lovely place where live; Barbara was an intelligent and funny person. She always was pendant of her and at the same time she gave her time and a space. She could be herself. Was hard for yet try to accustomed to this new life with out her mother but was a good beginning; and inside she knew Barbara was the only one that could understand her.  
  
Barbara wheeled outside in the balcony of Clock Tower. "It's 12:00 AM young lady." She said taking between her legs a gift.  
  
"It's Saturday Barbara, tomorrow not school!" Helena protested.  
  
"I know" she gave her the gift.  
  
"What is this?" Helena turned to face her and smiled taking the package.  
  
"A present." Barbara smiled.  
  
Helena opened the envelope that was inside, she took of a bunch of papers "What is this Barbara?"  
  
"Your freedom, the court gave me your custody definetily, you never would back to the DYFS or something like that." Barbara said.  
  
Helena jumped and hugged her. "This is so cool! Why this present??"  
  
"Today is your birthday and today we are officially a family."  
  
Helena paled when the word 'family' left Barbara's mouth. Her thoughts returned to her mother and she suddenly felt the need to distance herself from Barbara.  
  
"What happened?" Barbara asked.  
  
Helena remembered her mother, a year ago she was with her. They went to dinner to a restaurant in the bay. A few moths later she was kill, and Barbara was hurt. She didn't know what to think. She suddenly felt accept Barbara would be betrayal her mother; She felt happy to be with Babs but she wasn't sure about the family. Her family for her yet was her mother and she wasn't there. And what happened if Barbara suddenly one day gone as her mother?  
  
"Helena what is wrong?" Barbara looked her confusion face and tried to touch her hand but Helena pulled it slowly.  
  
"Nothing. is just. thanks Barbara."  
  
"Do you feel okay?"  
  
"Yes. I was thinking." Helena didn't know what to do she felt afraid to open her heart, she would be hurt again. The glaze of Barbara felt her feel guilty to couldn't give her back her care and love; she avoided it. "Thanks, you are right, is late, good night." She gave her a fast kiss and ran toward her room.  
  
Barbara couldn't understand her reaction, she thought she would feel happy but she looked as if she was scared with that news. Barbara lowered her head, Helena was so hurt, help her to trust in others was going to be most difficult that she ever thought. She thought that she had made more progress gaining Hel's trust but she needed work more on t. She would do it, she couldn't let her alone, she needed her, and she isn't going to fail the truth of Selina and Helena.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara was sat in the dinning room with many papers in her hand. Alfred entered and saw that she had big black rings under her eyes.  
  
"Morning miss Barbara." Alfred said "But as I can see aren't so good. Miss Helena?"  
  
Barbara sighed and crossed her arms in the table "Yes, I thought that she would feel happy when I told her that I had her custody but. she reacted in a strange way. She, I don't know how explain, she just run away."  
  
"Run away?"  
  
"Yes, she was scared. I could see that in her eyes. Is hard in, she don't let me in. I can't help her if she don't let me. She lies to me all time!"  
  
"Miss Barbara, you must be patient. She is confused, she couldn't believe again so easy in people. Many tings had happened in her life in less than a year; she lost her mother, her home, she was in an orphanatory, in a Detention Center, she was a fugitive, punished. And suddenly she had a home again." Alfred pointed. "I'm sure she feels that this is just temporally as all in her life and don't want grow fond of all this and you. She feel afraid to wake up and tomorrow be again in the street."  
  
"You are right." Barbara took off her glasses "But I showed her the papers."  
  
"But is not just about papers, is about that in any moment you could gone as her mother." Barbara was going to said something but Alfred interrupted her "And you couldn't tell me it never would happen; nobody knows what will happen tomorrow."  
  
Barbara moved her head "I don't know what to do."  
  
"Just give her love."  
  
"She don't let me, she painted a line between she and me. She is kind, nice nut as soon as she feels something of care she escape and hide."  
  
"Miss Barbara, you are so intelligent, you could defeated the biggers villains of New Gotham. I'm sure you will win the heart of miss Helena." Alfred smiled waling toward the elevator.  
  
"That was a low blow!" Barbara said.  
  
Alfred didn't respond and walked in the elevator winking his eye. Barbara took a deep breath and continued her work.  
  
* * * 


	14. Begining

Thanks for all your comments friends. This fic is done in three parts: Sophomore year, Junior Year and Senior year. As end I choose a part of a fic that I wrote: Unmasked, I thought is perfect to the end.. *dancing*  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Helena wanted go to a weekend with her friends of High School; but Barbara wasn't convinced yet. The girl insisted her but Barbara was firm in her "no".  
  
"Barbara!" Helena followed her around the Clock Tower, she was almost seventeen and her hair was still long and in a pony tail.  
  
"Helena Don't!" Barbara rolled her eyes.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because you lied to me!"  
  
"I didn't lie to you!"  
  
Barbara stopped the chair and turned it around to face Helena. "Every time you have an opportunity, you lie to me. Why couldn't you trust me?"  
  
Helena avoided her eyes and said in a soft voice. "I didn't lie to you."  
  
"No? Are you sure? What about that tattoo on your lower back?" Barbara asked.  
  
Helena blushed and looked down to her feet while she played with it. "What tattoo?"  
  
The red head crossed her arms and raised her brow. "Turn around please"  
  
"Barbara I didn't lie to you." Helena knew she was trapped.  
  
"Show me your back please."  
  
The girl didn't know what to do, she slowly turned. She had her hands laced behind her back.  
  
"Helena." Barbara glared to her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your hands, move them." she moved her index finger.  
  
"My hands?" Helena asked innocently. She moved it and laced it in front of her. Barbara took a deep breath and waited a few seconds. The brunette didn't move.  
  
"Helena" Barbara said softly "you have to raise you blouse as well."  
  
"I don't have a tattoo."  
  
Barbara moved her head and with her hand she raised her blouse, Helena quickly turned around and put her hands on her back. She found the icy glare of Barbara. They both kept silent a few seconds. Barbara felt really upset, she had been trying to be open with her but she wouldn't let her in, she always avoided her. She knew she was hurt and angry because of her mother's murder less than a year ago, but she couldn't help her if she didn't want it. Maybe more than upset she felt frustrated about not being able to help her feel better.  
  
"And?" the red head asked finally.  
  
Helena lowered her head.  
  
"Why did you do that? We've been talking about this. You know that I don't like tattoo's and you promised me you wouldn't do it! What are you trying to prove Helena? That you're mad with your life and your trying to show your disobedience? Are you trying to punish the life, punishing me? Maybe you haven't noticed, but let me remind you, that at this moment I don't have many reasons to feel happy about my life. I'm trapped in this damn wheelchair and it's difficult, really difficult trying to keep going, but I need to fight, I need to fight every day not to surrender, because of me. and because of you."  
  
Helena didn't move, she had her head down. Barbara had a good reason to be mad, she knew she was so unfair with her, but she couldn't avoid being that way, she couldn't avoid rubbing her anger off on Barbara.  
  
"Look at me." Barbara asked with sweet voice. "Please Helena look at me." The girl raised her head and Barbara took her hand "I know that I never could be the way your mother was, but I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to give you a home, I'm trying to give you love, but your avoiding me, you refuse to let me help you. How could I help you if you don't let me in? Let me help you to not feel alone. I know what you have a lot of pain inside..."  
  
"You don't know, you couldn't know" Helena pulled her hand and stepped back, Barbara was trying to enter dangerously near her feelings and she couldn't allow it. "you couldn't know!!!"  
  
"Helena."  
  
"You couldn't!!!" Helena ran to the balcony. Barbara looked after her with sadness, she lowered her head and put her elbows in her legs and covered her head with her hands. It was frustrating trying to help her, she was suffering and she couldn't avoid it. She had been trying to give her the best of her self but that didn't help the girl much.  
  
She took a deep breath, she needed to try something else, she couldn't leave her alone, and she wasn't going to leave her alone.  
  
Barbara wheeled to the balcony looking for her, but the place was empty, it was alone. She had spotted her running there.  
  
Helena sat up near the top of the clock. She followed Barbara with her gaze in the silence. The red head wheeled to the corner. It as impossible, Helena couldn't jump so high. She kept still for a few seconds watching the lights of the city.  
  
"Why don't you come down so we can talk?" Barbara asked suddenly.  
  
"I'm okay here." Helena said in her place, resting her jaw on her knees, she hugged her legs with her arms.  
  
Barbara turned her wheelchair and raised her head to look at her. "I'm not mad at you because of your tattoo."  
  
"Not true."  
  
"I was mad because you don't trust me. You lie to me every time you have an opportunity. This is hard for me too Helena, it isn't easy. you lost your mother I lost my legs."  
  
"Could you stop talking about her please?" Helena replied with angry voice.  
  
"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Are you unhappy living with me?"  
  
Helena didn't answer, she continued watching the city, her gaze lost in the night.  
  
"I'm sorry. I try to do my best but I'm not good at it, I don't know what to do or what to say to a teen such as yourself. You are younger and surely expected more from me. I understand, I know that its hard to live with some one who can't walk, a disabled person such as myself."  
  
Barbara lowered her head. "The people usually see us as a nuisance or useless because we can't do all the things that you could do. I can't blame you if you think that way, you are younger and need someone with more possibilities than me."  
  
Barbara paused and swallowed, she looked at her legs with sadness and passed one of her hands over them, she moved her hand back and forth slowly. She wished she could feel something but it was impossible.  
  
"A simple thing like going to bed or to the bathroom is a big effort for us." She added with low voice and smiled to her self remembering her first days in the wheelchair. "It cost me a lot, but finally I learned. I can't run, I can't jump. I know that you loved going on walks with Selina and that can I never do it..." Barbara's eyes were moist, she saw a pair of black shoes in front of her; she raised her head. Helena's blue eyes were shining in the night, she looked at her deeply.  
  
"I don't think that you are a nuisance." the girl said softly "I don't think that you're useless. You are amazing, really. Don't despise your self because of me, I'm not worth it. I'm sorry If I make you feel so bad."  
  
"Helena, you worth a lot, don't say that!"  
  
"I don't know what to feel, I don't know what to do. Many days I wake up feeling mad with my self. I run every day from myself, from my feelings, from my anger. and I can't find an exit. I can't find peace in any place. Barbara, it isn't you, it's me. I don't know what to do with myself, with my anger."  
  
"Let me help you."  
  
Helena stepped back. "I can't."  
  
"Do you trust me?."  
  
Helena avoided her look and nodded lightly.  
  
"So let me help you, let me in." Barbara asked taking her hand.  
  
"I can't" she whispered.  
  
"Just let me in Hel."  
  
"Sorry, I can't." Helena pulled her hand softly away and walked to the door.  
  
"Why can't you? Tell me."  
  
Helena stopped and bit her lip trying not cry.  
  
"Please Hel, tell me"  
  
"Because I don't want to love anyone else!" Helena didn't turn, her eyes were fixed on the floor "I don't want to lose other person; I don't want to feel this pain again... If I don't love, I don't feel." Helena walked back inside the Clock Tower. Barbara didn't know what to say, she just watched her disappear behind the door.  
  
* * *  
  
Helena felt disoriented, confused, she felt trapped between open her heart and kept in that way to avoid feel pain again. She didn't know why she felt that anguish inside. She ran with out direction in the streets, she was trying to escape of her own feelings.  
  
Barbara looked for the girl in her Hummer. It was raining and that made it difficult try to find her. She had been to Selina's house; the school; and she had asked Gibson but all was useless. She finally got an idea and pressed the accelerator of the Hummer.  
  
Helena finally got tired, and sat at the floor of an alley. It was raining and cold, but it didn't matter to her. She cried, hugging her legs; she couldn't avoid the image of her mother dying in her arms; suddenly it changed to Barbara's face. The fear of losing some one again was incredibility strong and she couldn't control her emotions. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her legs; soaked and trembling.  
  
"Oh my God! I had been looking for you all night!" she heard Barbara's voice and raised her head. "Leave me alone!" she sobbed.  
  
"Please, come back home." Barbara had found her in the street where her mother had been murdered a months ago.  
  
"I don't have a home." she looked away.  
  
Barbara was in front of her now, she could feel that she tried to touch her but she refused the embrace.  
  
"Please, let me in, I know how you feel." the redhead said.  
  
"No! you don't!" she shouted "You didn't loose your mother! Go away!"  
  
".I not only lost my mother, I lost my father too, and I was even younger than you. I felt like you. like my whole world was broken."  
  
"Leave me alone!" she covered her head with her hands.  
  
"No, I couldn't, you will get sick if you stay here you are too important for me, and if it's necessary I will be here with you all night."  
  
"I can't. I can't love anyone else, I told you, leave me alone." Helena sobbed and rested her forehead on the wet wall and bit her nails, she was cold and was trembling. "I can't."  
  
Barbara continued talking to her "I lost my parents when I was a child, and it hurt me a lot, as you are hurting now. It was hard, so hard. I moved around as much as you, I left my home, my memories, my happy childhood suddenly. I moved to live with an uncle. A lovely uncle that never couldn't replace my parents but he gave me the best of him, all his love. He made me feel that I wasn't alone. That I had a new father."  
  
Barbara touched her shoulder and this time the girl didn't refuse the touch. "I know that I can't help you heal that lost sense that you feel now. I don't want to be your mother, I want just to be your friend. I want you to understand that I love you, that I'm going to do my best to help you. I don't want you to feel that you are alone in this world, I know how much it hurts to loose your parents."  
  
Helena turned her face and looked at her.  
  
"I don't want you to think that you don't have a home." Barbara smiled, "You have one, your home, our home, not the same that we had with our parents but it's ours. You are now my family, please; don't leave me alone, I love you."  
  
Helena jumped in her arms crying desperate "I miss her, I want to see her again! Please, I want to see her!"  
  
"It's impossible, she is dead" Barbara was crying with her "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, if I could bring her back to you, I would, but I can't."  
  
"I can't go on with all this pain, I can't!" she sobbed resting her head on her shoulder "I don't want to feel this way! Please help me, I don't want to feel like this!"  
  
The woman hugged her strongly. Helena felt warmth and comfort in her arms, she felt that she wasn't alone, she felt protected, a feeling that she had missed since her mother had died. But she couldn't give her heart to that that woman, she couldn't.  
  
* * *  
  
Barbara had taken Helena back to Clock Tower after she had found her in the street and almost obliged her to take a shower, the night was freezing and she had been outside, soaked to the bone for many hours. She too took a bath and then left Helena sleeping, she went to her room to rest, it had been a long night.  
  
Helena woke up a few minutes later, she looked around all was silent and dark. Barbara had gone. She stared at the wall for a few seconds, lost in her thoughts she felt alone. She stood up and approached Barbara's bedroom. She stopped in front of the door several minutes looking at the lock; she stepped back, she thought it was a mistake being there. Lowering her head, she walked to her room, but she walked two steps and stopped again. She turned her head looking back at Barbara's room; she didn't know what to do.  
  
Barbara couldn't sleep, she felt so sad for the girl. She heard the door open slowly; she didn't move, she knew it was the girl; a few seconds later she heard the door close, but she didn't hear her steps. Barbara sighed deeply; Helena still didn't trust her, she had returned to her room.  
  
Suddenly she felt a weight on her mattress; the girl really was very silent. Helena maked herself comfortable on a small space of the bed, trying to not annoy Barbara. The red head smiled, she waited a few seconds before she rolled on her side and looked her. Helena had curled herself over the blankets and had her eyes closed, trying to sleep; she looked like a little angel.  
  
Barbara pulled the bedspread that was at the bottom of the mattress over and covered her. Barbara brushed her hair "Good night." she gave her a kiss on her forehead, before turning to the other side.  
  
"Night." Helena said.  
  
Barbara felt better knowing that the girl began to open herself up to Barbara in her way. She had fallen asleep when she heard Helena's soft voice.  
  
"Barbara."  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"Why do you take care of me?"  
  
"Because you are important to me."  
  
"But..I'm not a part of your family. I'm just a daughter of a friend."  
  
Barbara opened her eyes and turned to look at her. Helena was looking at her with her feral pupils. "You are wrong, you are my family, you aren't just the daughter of a friend; it's not necessary to have the same blood to take care of somebody or to love them, keep that in mind always. You worth so much, don't feel less than anyone"  
  
"Okay. Night." Helena turned her back to her.  
  
"Night." Barbara closed her eyes, she rested her back in the mattress, she felt so tired.  
  
"And what if I don't want you to be my family?" Helena's asked.  
  
"You can go." Barbara said sleepy "but I don't think you would like being back at in Federal custody. You have a certain aversion to the law and rules."  
  
Helena kept silent a few seconds and rolled over, she had her eyelids closed. "And what if I want to go live alone?"  
  
"You are an awful cook." Barbara answered "If you want to commit suicide it's your problem, not mine."  
  
Helena rested her back on the mattress and looked at the ceiling. "Maybe I would come here for breakfast and dinner."  
  
"I'm warning you, I'm not a good cook either." Barbara mumbled.  
  
"So. what have we been eating the last few months?" Helena asked without moving her eyes from the ceiling.  
  
"I buy food, or Alfred help me, but if you leave I wouldn't have the responsibility to feed you anymore. I will start to preparing my marvellous egg sandwiches again."  
  
"I don't like eggs. better keep buying food." Helena played with her fingers, Barbara didn't answer her. The brunette examined the room with her eyes, she'd never been there, it was her first time there, not because Barbara prohibited her from going there, it was because she tried to keep her distance from her mentor.  
  
Barbara was almost asleep when Helena interrupted her with another question "And what happen if I one day I hit you? You will still want to take care of me?"  
  
"Yes." Barbara sighed and rolled to her side "because before you could even touch me, I assure you, you will be lying on the floor, and I will hit you so hard that you never would think of raising your hand against me."  
  
Helena laughed, it was the first time Barbara heard her laughing in the last few months. She smiled. Helena covered her shoulders with the bedspread. "Night." she said.  
  
"Night" Barbara was starting to dream when she heard Helena's voice again.  
  
".Barbara."  
  
"Yes." she said drowsily.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Barbara smiled and turned to hug her and gave a kiss in her head. "I love you too." That night Helena finally opened her self to her, she understood she was her family. A new life started for both. 


End file.
